Worth It

The World Goes On || Peyton

PRESENT DAY

The world spins slowly, each day, each hour, forever moving. We never feel it but we know it does, as we watch the sun rise and fall everyday.

Darkness giveway to light.

When your world is ending however you feel every turn of the axis, every little movement, every tiny sound as you know it will be the last time.

They kissed, tears pouring down both their cheeks as the idea of being separated again ripping their conjoined souls apart. Noah grabbing hold of her leg as they say goodbye. He is only going home, home to New Orleans, but for the past 50 days this has been his home.

She has been his home.

I watch it unfold, slowly and yet all at once.

The glass from the windshield shatters hitting him square in the face. Pieces lodging there as he tries unsuccessfully to shield himself from the impact. The truck slamming full force into the side of his car, the door crumbling in trapping his legs beneath the steering wheel. He was rushing, my voice message still playing. My voice echoing around him as his world falls apart, both figuritively and literally. His world spinning and he can feel it. Blood streams from his face, mixing with his tears as his head snaps backwards when the car slams into the nearest lamp post. The smoke billowing from the engine, sirens blarring towards him, coming to save him. His mind racing, and all he can think is "not me, go save her." Before his mind closes in, engulding him in darkness.

I watch my body, limp and unmoving as it hangs gracefully from her celing. The note for her securely stuffed into my pillow, the one i know she will want to keep. All my unspoken words written carefully onto pages and pages of blank paper. Hers is the only one i've hidden. Noah's, Marcus', Elliot's, Fin's, Amanda's and Nick's sit nicely stacked on the kitchen counter. 
The apartment is spotless, cleaned top to bottom. All Liv's and Noah's clothes packed neatly in suitcases at the door. My pillow on top of her's, my stuff already thrown away, no mess for her to clean. My feet dangle, my heels long fallen from my feet. The tight black pencil skirt, paired nicely with a salmon blouse. My favourite blazer of Liv's neatly perched on my shoulders, my makeup is done, my coffin paid for. Everything is set. 
I just needed to leave.

Her phone rings from inside her bag, she locates it while frantically trying to remove the tears from her cheeks without smudging her make up. The moment the words filter through to her ears, her phone falls, hard and loud, shattering on the ground. She swoops Noah up in her arms and hurries to her car, shielding her heart, so she can function long enough to get there. She silently prays that there is still time. That she is not too late. She drives past, a wreckage. His wreckage. A car wrapped neatly around a pole, a 4 by 4 truck slammed tightly into its side. She sees his car, but does not register as she turns on her siren, bypassing the carnage.

They stand in the door way in silence, each of them stunned, neither one able to move. I called them all, left them all messages. None of them able to call an ambulance, all of them knowing it's too late. They hear her footsteps as they come pounding up the stairs to her apartment. Sonny turning to catch Noah before they come running into the room.

Liv stops in front of Sonny, everything written in his eyes. She moves slowly then and stares at her 3 detectives stunned in her doorway, she turns to see me, and she crumbles. The scream ripping from her throat piercing and blood curdling. She crawls towards me, her tears and snot coating my ankles as she sobs into my cooling frame.

"Get her down!" She screams, "Please just get her down!"

Fin and Nick move then, fast and all in one motion. They straighten the chair i kicked over as Nick wraps his arms around my mid section, tears soaking my beautifully chosen blouse. Fin works to unwind the rope from the fan, i secured it tightly so it wouldn't break, apart of me is it regretting now, watching it tear them apart as his frustration grows.

"Hurry!!" her voice pierces his heart right the way through.

"Baby girl I'm trying." he sobs. "Blue eyes what have you done?" he whispers to me as he finally gets the rope free.

I fall forwards and onto Nick's shoulder, Fin climbs down as he places me in Liv's arms. They all just stand there. Nick moves to envelope Amanda in his arms as she sobs into her hands, Fin moves into the hallway to get Noah, Sonny pulls out his phone to finally contact the authorities.

Liv just sits with me in her lap, wrapped in her arms. Her sobs falling into my hair line as she tries her hardest to pull me closer and closer to her, as if her beating heart is going to restart mine. She rocks backwards and forwards, her crying becoming hysterical as the reality sets in with each passing second.

"Momma's here now baby, you can come back," she whispers, "i will look after you my baby, make you pancakes, please just come back to me."

She wipes my hair from my face as she stares down at my closed eyes, my lips have turned blue. She runs her fingers across my cold cheek.

"Please don't leave," she sobs, "baby please don't leave me."

She cradles my face into her chest, securing me tightly in her arms.

"Don't leave me, don't leave me. Peyton please don't leave me." her pleading reaching every corner of the room. A loud and violent cry rips from her throat and is thrown across the city outside. People still on the streets, in their homes. Phone calls mute, converstations stop, birds don't churp as the pain sinks into all of them.

The pain of a mother losing her child.

"Wake up, please baby please, i will do anything just wake up, don't leave me. Please Peyton. Don't you leave me," they echo and bounce off all the walls as her voice gets quieter. Turning into soft whispers just for me to hear, except i hear them loud and clear as if she was speaking normally.

I watch it then, she crumbles inwardly as her heart breaks into a million little pieces. Her world is spinning and she can now feel it.

Every minute of it, as the world continues to go on.

Even though my heart does not.