Suicide

You're sitting at your desk.

The clock is ticking.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

You're family isn't home.

They left for the store, taking your little brother with them.

You think back at your day today.

Your teacher pushed you to do your best, more than anyone else in the class.

The boy you like called you ugly today.

Your best friend was talking behind your back.

That boy tripped you in the hallway, without saying sorry.

The time has come.

You go through the house looking for something -- Anything.

The knife, a rope, the gun. Anything.

You settle on the rope.

While you're at it, you grab the video camera.

You set the camera up, facing towards an empty chair in the middle of the room.

You hit play, and climb on the chair, tying the rope to your ceiling fan.

You stare at the blinking red light, with tears forming in your eyes.

You say, "Mom.. Dad I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. I can't be strong anymore. Everything you taught me to do against bullying. To stay strong. To talk to someone. I can't. I'm not the strong girl I used to be. I'm sorry. Tell my brother I'm sorry. I'm sorry I won't be there for him to grow up. That I"m sorry I left him like this. Tell him I love him. Tell him I will be with him forever. Just as will with you. I love you mom and dad. I am sorry."

You take one foot off of the chair.

You hit the off button on the remote.

The red light goes out.

You take the lest step off of the chair.

Your light goes out.

You're gone.

There's no coming back.

Your family gets home.

Your mom calls your name, as she always does.

She walks upstairs after calling your name once again.

She got no answer.

She thinks you're in the shower, or taking a nap.

She walks past the bathroom.

No water running.

She walks to your bedroom, knocks.

Knock. Once.

No answer.

She opens your door, expecting to see you in your bed, Asleep.

She pushes the door far enough to see your body hanging from the ceiling.

She screams.

She passes out at the sight of you.

Your father hears her and runs up after her.

He first sees your mother on the ground, unconscious.

He steps into your room and sees your body.

He's frozen. Can't move.

Your brother runs to your body crying.

"Wake up sissy! Please wake up. This isn't funny." He chokes out through tears.

He doesn't understand all of what happened, but he does know his older sister committed suicide.

Your father calls 911.

He can't believe the words coming out of his mouth. "My daughter committed suicide. She hung herself."

The ambulance shows up and put your body on the gernie.

They managed to wake your mother up.

Days later they have to bury you.

The boy who tripped you? He's cutting now because he thinks it's fault.

Your best friend? She wasn't talking behind your back. She was telling off some girls who were talking about you. She wasn't saying those mean things. She's in suicide therapy.

They boy you liked? He did like you. He was afraid to tell you. He cut everynight as well.

That teacher who pushed you harder than the other students? He quit. He knew you were going somewhere in life. He knew you could do it.

But it's too late now.

You're gone.

You're dead.

There's no going back.

Your mom doesn't leave the house.

She sits and cries.

Your dad is barely holding his job anymore.

Your brother, at the age of five, has to tell people what happened to his older sister. His hero.

You can't stop the pain you caused with them.

You're gone.

There's no turning back.

That video camera stills sits in your room.

Your room remains the same.

You can't leave your mom little notes anymore when she goes to clean your room saying, "I love you mom! Have a good day." Smiley face.

You can't kiss your dad's cheek before leaving for school.

You're dead.

You're gone.

There no turning back.

For you.

For anyone.

Years go by.

Your little brother? He's a senior in high school.

He started a club at school for suicide awareness.

Teens can go talk to other teens about their problems.

To prevent what happened to you, to others in the future.

Your parents? They had another baby.

They named her after you.

That boy you liked? He still thinks about you from time-to-time.

That teacher? Visits your grave weekly.

That boy who tripped you? He stills blames himself.

Your best friend? She committed suicide because she thinks it was her fault.

You can't commit suicide because the boy you liked hurt you, someone tripped you and didn't say sorry, someone was talking about you, someone pushed you because they knew you could do better. You can't commit suicide over words, or actions. There will be no going back. You'll be dead.

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Suicide is serious matter and teenagers everywhere are turning to it because they think killing themselves is the answer. It isn't. If you feel alone, depressed, in the dark, like no one cares -- Talk to someone. Get online. Call the suicide hotline. Find a friend. You are important to this world. There should be no reason for you to take your own life because someone hurt your feelings. It's not the answer like you think it is. Talk it out. People are always here. Because once you're gone, you're gone. There will be no going back. Stay strong. <3