The darling skys

The beginning

I'm a warm cup of coffee that overflows each opportunity it gets. Burning you with its every touch, I am dangerous. Try not to get close, I may hurt you. I may break you and find out all the things that make you tick. I am simply more powerful, I see all things considered. I can fulfill you, however, I am risky. Maybe that is why I stay away. Maybe this is why you have yet to find me. You search for it far and wide but you remain alone. That bit of paper you tossed on the walkway when you thought no one was looking, that was me. You discarded me because you were hurt. The truth can be seen but I am blind. The lady looking has yet to figure out that adoration is love and love is harmed. That's what love is, love is hurt. Open your heart to look or you will never find me.

It's the following morning', I constrained myself to get up, dishearten however about the unjust circumstance that I may never find love. The R.S.S could never permit it. Fighting is what we stand for; intimacy can only bring weakness said sergeant Veritas. I understood her words, but I do not agree with what she believes is wisdom. To the mistaken eye, she might look like a wise leader, but I see her as the Grinch masked as a lady. Her hair was as delicate as my blue silk robe I wear around evening time, yet her teeth were as spoiled and yellow as my shoes' base after a long day of training and her breath stunk of disloyalty and sorrow. Her eyes, as dark as the dead of night and looked as though she had experienced a lot of bitterness and torment but hey at least she had the whole delicate hair thing going for her. Praise be. No one seemed to see her true nature however I intend to make them see. She is one of the numerous things that stand -between me and discovering you. I will find you, my love. I will find you.

It's been a long while since my father's passing; my source of happiness seemed to have disappeared from my growing hands. I speak the truth, I am saddened by each waken day that my father will no longer be able to see me grow and find you one day. My dad won't be here to watch me bring down the evil in this world to find you. The day I find love and walk down the aisle my father will not be here. For that, I will say again that I am disheartened, yet I pull through because that's what my father would have wanted. Growing up, my father has consistently been my role model. He told me that as you grow up individuals who you believe are closest to you will distance themselves; all you will have in the end is yourself. He always taught me to ask for help, yet never rely upon individuals as they will eventually let you down. All I truly had at any point in life was him. He raised me into who I am today, which is a solid, independent woman. I have grown into a hardworking and focused individual. Nothing will ever compare to when I saw my father on that hospital bed. Going through that kind of pain and not knowing what the next step will be has changed me as a person. My father never found you, my father never found love; I was adopted, so he is the closest thing I ever got to a father. Although he never gave up, in the end, he never found you and he ended up dying alone but I will be different and I will find you my love. I will find you.

'' Snap out of it'' sergeant Veritas screamed at me. ''Sir yes sir '' I replied with a cricked smile. ''That's 30 laps, you can't be here daydreaming all day " she said. I crouched in starting position while everyone laughed, hands placed on the muddy grass after a long day of rain and back coiled like a spring. "run forest run " said john my dorky best friend at the time. '' 30 laps for you to john, since you want to be a stand-up comedian " said sergeant veritas. I looked at John as he walked towards me, saddened by his misfortune. ''At least we are in this together '' I said. we both smiled. I launched myself forward, '' come on, I will race you'' I said.

John constantly has a way of making people happy despite his clumsiness; he is the funniest person you will ever meet. I try to be a good influence and keep this young man out of trouble but I guess '' You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him wear a tie." sometimes I think John's head is screwed on backward. He has always had a feminine way about his attitude toward things. I know what you're thinking he isn't gay. He is as straight as the spine of someone that doesn't have scoliosis. John has always been a decent companion. I have known john since I was six. We used to live on the same block. My mother always detested his mother Katherine yet john never realized because she was always been good at concealing how she really feels. Not that it would even matter because that's grown folks business. Katherine was a single mother and she has always been a big flirt although she wasn't very attractive. Her breasts were as large as inflatables but yet her ass as flat as that pancake you left on the stove for way to long. 

My mother's hatred for johns mother began in 1991, when my mother find out about the affair. God rest his soul but my father has always been  a cheat, I guess you can say nobody is perfect.

It was a regular Saturday morning, the only day my dad had off from his many jobs.

Ding....... ding ...... ding

My father looked at his phone, at that point began to laugh. My mother strolled in the room. ''Who are you talking to ? '' My mother asked. ''No one'' my dad said as he tried his hardest to conceal his telephone screen. My mother walked towards him, only to find numerous messages from Katharine. ''Why are you always in my business ? '' said my father. '' Why are you always cheating'' said my mother as she crushed the telephone on the floor..My father gets angry and stands up, Towering over my mom standing at 6 ft 7 inches he was a giant compared to her who was only 5 ft. My mother didn't care, despite everything she managed to  figured out how to smack him a few times and scratch his  face up . My father finally hits back but that was a big mistake. ''Oh so you want war'' said my mother as she walks to the kitchen to get a knife. My dad hits my mom again attempting to get the blade out of her hands however with quick movement my mom cuts my dad. Before my vary eyes she runs to the phone to call the cops. The police arrive and right before my mother was about to tell the cops the truth,  my father interrupt and says ''i fell officer'' . He was then  taken to the hospital. When he got there it turns out the knife only graced him and by the grace of god ended up being fine. There lied the situation that was the start of their many problems. My folks never permitted there issues to impact the manner in which they raised my sister and I . Although my parent's relationship was vary toxic they held on for many years for us. Even the strongest rope breaks eventually if you keep tugging at it. Eventually my mother and father got a divorce but remained friends.

John doesn't know of that occasion. I choose not to tell my friends everything that happens in my life for the simple fact that I don't have a clue of what the future holds.  I don't know how long we will be friends for. So in the unfortunate circumstance that we are no longer friends I will have given him nothing to uses against me on day. Call me paranoid but I rather be safe than sorry. John on the other hand told me everything, from when participates in the act of elimination, to his rather unpleasant conversations with his girlfriend or at least that what she likes to call herself. Imagination is key he often tells her. John's relationship was strictly physical however his quote on quote girlfriend seems to believe that they will get married some day. John had no intentions of ever finding you. John doesn't believe in love after seeing how his father left his mother, he sees it as an illusion.  ''You should never stay because you think its love'' john said.  He then further elaborates by saying ''you only think its real because you're lost in the moment, blindsided by the fact that true words have been spoken''. I smile and nod my head as he speaks rather loudly on the phone with his girlfriend.

Be quite i said  ''the Sargent will hear us, and i refuse to do laps for you again".