Dreams | FEZCO |

01

The feeling of my soul leaving my body is all too familiar, the feeling of dread and grief crawl under my skin and out my throat, the guilt and loneliness wash over me like a tidal wave, much larger than the ones on earth.
I am somewhere, somewhere I cannot breath, somewhere I cannot see and somewhere I cannot feel.
I have died a million times I have lived a million lives just to search for one thing.
RED is what I call him, every single night of every single life I have ever lived I have met RED in my dreams, he shows me to where I am supposed to rest my head, but we never get there, resulting in me starting over, far away from him, I am in love with someone or something unattainable.

I die ever night just to gasp the same breath as him, to be the closest I have ever been to him, I still don't know his name, I have had a million names, I have had a million bodies and I have still yet to find them next to his.

Gasping, I sit up, tears streaming down my plump cheeks, my heart aching and my body shaking, tonight I almost touched RED but as always I am  pulled away from him, brought back to life.
Picking up my phone I see the time, two thirty in the morning, my room was pitch black, the only sound in the room was the ripples of water from my humidifier.

In this life my name is Aubrey, I am twenty two years old.
Not much else is very important, every day I feel normal but once I lay my head on my pillow I am aware and conscious of a life form other than my own, I wish I could say this has been going on for months, or maybe even years, but this has been continuing for a lifetime.
Sometimes I wonder if this is my punishment, denied of love and taunted with the most single precious thing I have ever witnessed, RED.
He was like the Birth of a trillion stars and the Armageddon of all of them.

Deciding to calm myself down, I rip the comforter off of my body and walk downstairs to the kitchen, opening the fridge I realize I had forgotten to go grocery shopping again.
With a loud groan I press my back against the fridge and press my eyes close, my stomach practically yells at me to feed myself.

Throwing sweatpants and a sweater on, I rush out the door to my car in fear someone is watching me, the chances are highly unlikely, but you can't be to safe in California.
Driving around I try to find any store that is open, not wanting to drive twenty minutes to a nearest Walmart, driving down a corner, I see a corner store lit up well, with plenty of drunk teenagers in the parking lot, deciding against my better judgement I pull into the parking lot.

Walking up to the store I am met with a strong scent of alcohol and laughter, walking in between the drunk bodies to get to the chips and tea, seeing as though it's an outdoor store, their is enough room for all of them to crowd the area.
Grabbing an Arizona tea and hot Cheetos I make my way to the line formed by the register.
One after another they all leave, leaving me the last to check out, looking down at my phone I read unread messages from my family, seeing that I am the next to put my stuff on the counter I put down my phone and place my items on the counter.

Looking up I see the most familiar eyes, they're Ivey blue with freckles accompanying them, my breath hitches in the back of my throat, noticing his fiery RED hair, I know him from anywhere, he is the man in my dreams.

RED'S eyes scan from my things to look at my face, his eyes widening and his eyebrows coming together in concern, he backs up front second before regaining his composure, standing in silence, we both gaze at each other in disbelief, I've seen you before" I say, holding back details, just Incase this is one sided and I'm secretly going insane.
Without a thought my hand raised to touch his hair, my hand makes contact with his skin and my fingers tingle.

I have finally found him.