Love Of A Sociopath

Slipped and Spilled

Well, well, well. This morning is too quite comparing to what went down yesterday night. Leah. I feel a little guilty pulling her in this mess. But it was necessary. Necessary to show that he wasn't just messing with my life. He was messing up with secrets that will demand blood if unveiled. I cannot afford anymore bloodshed, even if it meant I will have to take up dirty tasks. 

Leah was Vlad's little sister. She was innocent, too innocent for this dark world. But the fact she was Vlad's sister was the mere point that darkened her whole existence. The angle was assaulted at the age of seven and since has been living in a mental hospital. Vlad got involved in some shady business and those people took revenge using her sister as leverage.

Cowards.

Or maybe not?

Weren't we also cowards in some way? We commit simple acts of cowardice every day, don't we? They did something very wrong and unforgivable which can never be justified. Their acts can never be justified. But, what it was that made them so desperate? What was it that silenced their angels and awakened their devils?

They were human, but what made them devils?

Ironically the funny thing is Vlad and I are no different. But we never make an innocent pay the price. Well I don't. Him? I don't know. A bitter laugh left my mouth. And I laughed, laughed on myself and the irony of this whole scenario.

I met her sister in the same mental hospital that I was once a patient of, the same walls enclosed her that once enclosed me. The same dress adorned her body that did mine. The only difference between us is, she is there because of monsters and I was there because the monsters made me one too.

Crazy. That was how our identity was perceived. A few courageous embraced our ugly existence, the others just looked at us as some abomination on society, and maybe we we were in some way or another.

We were crazy. He is hell bent on breaking me up and I have an idea why. He likes challenges, get bored too soon and is thirsty for revenge. He maybe never got the revenge from the people that were the cause of his sister's misery, so now he is out in the world. Angry, revengeful and lost.

He is lost because he never got to find his own identity. From his childhood till now, from what I have interpreted, he never got to know what he really was and just got pushed around. No love. No identity. No family.

He was not a sociopath from birth. He was made one.

He was not crazy. The world made him so and once he found his identity, he has made sure that he lives up to it.

Aside from all this maddening stuff, the normal stuff is also done for today. I have already done yoga, showered, eaten cornflakes and studied a little bit but still have not seen him.

Where was he?

Are you worried? The little voice in my head whispered to me. Mocking me, poking the monster.

Worried... yes I was worried, but not of his well being but of what he was off planning. I am one of the best psychology students in my class, and I know that an angry sociopath is as good as an angry dog.

Vicious. Uncontrolled. Lethal.

To silence my thoughts and get some peace from this shitty turn my life has taken, I decided to listen to some music and what could be better than the album Wings?

Lying back, I enjoyed the beats, the music, the hidden meaning, the innocence in this hell. Memories flashed one after another, some good, some bad. When I graduated high school with my best friends. When I first witnessed a murder. The day I got my license and the day I got to know I was a psychopath.

I laughed. Psycopaths. Sociopaths.

I and Vlad are so alike. We can tell what we are thinking by the way we talk and walk. Just by the way he breathes I can tell what he will do next, and last night was a bad example of what he will do next. What is he plotting right now? Where would he be searching for knives to cut me up, tear me apart just the way I did?

Ring. Ring. I have got a text. Who could it be?

Char: u up 4 some shopping with me & Lola... Jake said he will pay for food!!!

Me: r u sure bout the food part? He won't bail like last time?

Char: Trust me...

Me: Be in the mall in 10 min.

Char: u r the best!!!!!

Me: Whatever see ya

I am sure this girl could feed homeless for a whole year if she saved all that money from shopping. Well mall it is then. I just needed an excuse to get out of the house and do something before my class starts at 3 p.m.

Changing into a pair of ripped jeans and my black beanie and a printed tank top, I locked my, sorry, his apartment and mounted my bike to reach the mall. The weather is good today, one less thing to worry about at least. My tattoos and my bike really made me seem like some sort of criminal-on-the-run sometime.

Parking my bike in the mall's garage, I took the elevator to the top floor where the food court awaited my presence and Jake's bucks. As soon as I exited the elevator, I reached the food court, gave my order and started to find an empty table for the rest of us.

Waiting for my order was proving to be more difficult than it seemed. The food court was crowded and it seemed as if my friends were pulling a prank on me and ditched me to do god knows what.

Waiting is difficult and exhausting. So I decided to play Boom Beach. No one could tell right now that I was not one of them. They could never guess the monsters out of the humans. Well if they could, there would be no need for police now, would there be?

A person took the seat beside me and I groaned. "Excuse me, but this seat is taken," I said in the most polite way I could. Man, this was so not my day.

"Please take some another place," I said still not taking my eyes off my game. When the stubborn person still didn't move, and instead two more came took the seat in front of me, I decided that I have had enough of it.

"Please just find some another seat I have already said-" all my words died. It felt as if all the air inside me has left me and suddenly I don't know how to breathe anymore. These faces, how can they come out of my nightmares and become my reality, again?

I was sure to not slip. I was careful enough to not spill.

I raised my eyes and looked at the person beside me. I don't know what to do now, except to accept the fact that I have somehow slipped and spilled, because that is the only way she could be sitting beside me.

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A short update and I know, you all might hate me right now so much for not updating but I promise you all, no scratch that promises are made to be broken, I make a commitment to you all that an update every Wednesday.

With that said,

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Till next time, M.A