Joke smuts.

Lance Armstrong x reader Highschool romance

He swept his short unkempt hair back, did the eboy finger tappy thing then reeted to you about his feelings towards you, which were that he "hated" you. No reason...just hated you. Buuuuut!!! This all turned out to be a lie. How you ask? Well he told you straight to your face... well kinda. His exact words were "yo, u wan sum fuk?" thats where it all started...

*lemon warning*

As soon he poked your thigh you dun giggled, he slowly went up with the pokes. You were ready for him, yearning for him. But nothing could have prepared you for the line he said next... "baby i'm gunna sksk squish yo insides.." as lance whispered that into your ear you couldnt contain yourself and pounced onto this throbbing thigh with sexual intent. You have never wanted a small eboy more in your life then this moment. You gazed into his eyes as he looked back in shock at you small but meaningful actions. He smirked. "XD" he continued as he reached for your human hood. You felt the rawness of his hand stroke violently on your insides. You moan out to him "PIZZA PASTA." he looked at you with the most lustful eyes and whispered "put it in a pot" that sent you over the edge. He stroked your humanhood with another didget and you moaned louder. He lifted you up and sat you down on his free olive garden breadsticks as you throw your head back in ecstasy. He thrusts faster and faster getting all that garlicy goodness inside if you. A few more thrusts he leans into your ear and asks you " whos free bread stck is this" you moan quitley "olive gardens" he thrists up harder "WHOSE BREAD STICKS!" you scream out and he recives the anwser he wanted "OLIVE GARDENS FUUUUUCK LANCE". Youve never jizzled so hard in your life he continues to pound your little bread roll until he glazes you with the secret sauce he always talked about. "Thats my good little humanoid bread bunch" he said before laying you into your shared pickle jar where you both fell asleep waiting for the next olive garden bread stick special.

The next day

You walked through the halls of your olive garden training course academy, where people of all walks of life travel to come and learn the art of making everyone family. Your best friend and as of last night lover... walks up to you and caresses your shoulder before giving a slight bump and flashing his signature smirk. You melted, but you could let him see that. You stand taller before tackling him to the ground with a loud thump everyone turned to stare. Lance groaned with pain and sadness. You perked up rather confused and noticed that lance has explodedunt his gogurt all over the two of you the strange snickers from the preppy mars bars girls makes you squirm with anger. You look into lances eyes and he leans in and succs the gogurt off your ear lobe. You shiver and stare longingly into the distance as you feel your humanhood itch with whip cream.

You ran. So far away cause you couldn't let him smell the sent of your creamy coconut. It would send him over he edge. You run to the washroom to relieve yourself in some sort of manner and it seems to be working the room fills with the sent of your slimy coconut. You here a creak in the door. You cover your mouth so whoever was there. The footsteps grow closer and you grow hornier with the tension of getting caught. The door opens. Shit you forgot to lock the door you were in a rush. And it opens to show that it's lance