A reason to smile (unedited)

Part title

I spewed words of hate and anger to my only daughter. I know it was wrong but I was in pain. I couldn't think clearly so I blamed her. I began to break down in tears. I tried to keep yelling and screaming however my body so to preoccupied crying. My daughter in tears herself, gathered what little strength she had to come over to me. I tried to tell her to get away but all o could manage was faint squeals every time I tried to utter a noise. The closer and closer she got the more my mind began to rage. I wanted to... I wanted her to go away for a long long time. She opened her arms and approached me. Gently laying her head on my shoulder and wrapped around me as much as she could with her short arms. She rubbed my back and told me everything would be okay. "There, there, everything's okay now. I got you. I'll make all the pain go away." This infuriated me. My daughter barely 7 years of age. A girl who just had her purity ripped away by her father and then blamed for it by her mother some how had more strength than me. She comforted me. Told me that she'd make everything better. Before I knew it I was squeezing her in my arms. Her cries began to fade and so did mine. It was the first time I hugged her. I never cared for her the way a mother should. I always saw her as the parasite that stole my husband and Ruined my body. I resented her her whole life. I was so selfish. "Baby" I said "I'm so so so sorry. For everything." She still cling to my silently. "I promise that man will never hurt you again. I'll be a good mother. I'll make up for all the bad times. And I'll never let you cry again you hear me. " Still no response. Here's where I noticed her body. It became heavy. "Baby?" I said as I pulled her away from me. Her arms fell lifelessly from around my waist. I realized... she was no longer hear. I began to cry hysterically. I have officially lost everything. My husband, my daughter, my Home and as soon as this reaches the news I'll have lost my status and my job as well. And the only thing I could manage to regret out of the whole situation would be that. I never through out her entire life told her I love her. I looked at her pale face wishing I could do it all over and to my surprise, she was smiling. She went through so so so much in her life and regardless in her last few moments she found a reason to smile.