Loveless Illusion

Last night I had the same dream as always. Like always it was hazy and blurry… and yet… so detailed what if it wasn’t a dream? I smiled to myself and laid down.

                “Yuki… your losing it come on get a grip on reality and get ready for school!” I told myself. It seems I’ve been talking to myself a lot more lately. Oh well… I let myself drift back into deep sleep

I ran to try and make it on time to class but I stopped when I saw Fuzen.

                “A-Ah! Fuzen! Hey! It’s me, Yuki!” I kept calling for him but he kept ignoring me. Such longing in my heart oh it was almost too much to possibly bear! Fuzen must have not noticed me once again but my love for him will not stifle or disappear. Even if it’s a one-sided romance I’ll keep trying to make him fall in love with me! I look in Fuzen’s direction and felt my cheeks grow hot as I saw him make his way towards me. He sighed and put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head

“What do you want? It’s enough that I have to pretend to date you because of my status.”

                “I just wanted to tell you ‘Hello, I love you!’ like always,” I smiled up at him “Is that such a bad thing?”

Fuzen took his arm off me, shaking his head as he left I felt really disappointed. Does he really hate me like his friend says he does…? I fell to my knees crying, he hates me I know it… and I’m late to class. I slowly got up fixing my things and left to go wait in the garden.

As I walked to class I couldn’t help but to think of Yuki. She has her heart in the right place but I can’t help but think I was too hard on her. It’s not me she’s in love with but I could never tell her the truth. One day she’ll finally get over me and she can live a happier life till then, I’ll just keep hurting her more and more. I smiled to myself and laughed quietly. When the day is right Yuki will fall in love with someone better than me and I’ll just be a long forgotten memory. Brrrep! I started to sprint remembering I was supposed to be going to class. The class roared and praised me as I came in sliding in as the final bell rung with only a second to spare. I didn’t smile at all, just stood there waiting for them to stop.

Yuki was waiting for me outside the school main entrance gates s always. She gave me a big smile and a bear hug. I frowned but lightly squeezed her and pushed back.

“Stop that. Also, stop ditching class to wait for me to swing by. Your grades are important to you” I sighed and rolled my eyes.

                “Ready for the exam next week? Don’t worry about not having lunch! I-I’ll make you some lunch from now on!” I smiled at her and gave her a real hug for the first time. Yuki is so naïve but she’s just so adorable… Why am I starting to like her could this be the start of something new?

                “Thank you… Yuki come on let me walk you home tonight… Princess” I gave her a smile and her cheeks immediately went bright red.

When we said our goodbyes for the 8th and last time I shut the door and squealed. He called me princess!! I tried to tell myself to shut up and calm down but it was totally impossible to. I got up and started dancing around like an idiot. I was so giddy I could explode!

                “He’s starting to love me! He’s starting to love me!” I looked at a picture of my father “Daddy why can’t you say you love me too…? Why couldn’t you say it at least once before you died?!” I sat down and softly cried… Father always wanted a son instead he got a daughter that only disappointed him I went upstairs and decided to sleep this whole thing off. When I woke up I realized I over-slept I changed clothes and waited for Fuzen at his house.