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I still haven't told her,but she knows. I know she knows. She won't look at me without tears coming to her eyes. I need to tell her. I'm gonna do it. I go out of my room and see mom talking to one if her friends. I say hello and quickly walk out of the door. I walk towards Lili's apartment. I stop. I can't do this i really can't even look her in the eye without seeing Drew slowly dying by my hand. I look down at my feet and start to walk again. As i walk i count the steps one ,two ,three, to keep the thought of turning around out of my mind. Ten ,eleven,twelve, I'm more than halfway there. I can make it. Fourteen , fifteen , sixteen, i can't find any good way to think about telling her. Eighteen,nineteen,i move my hand and knock on the door. I wait for three beats. I try to walk away,but the door starts to open. When it dose i see Lili she takes my hand,and takes me to her room. I don't speak,and neither does Lili. We sit in silence for about thirty seconds. Then Lili looks at me,and burst into tears. I walk over to her and hug her saying,"I'm sorry.If i had known it wouldn't have happened." Lili looks at me. I expect to see hatred and sadness,but when she looks at me her face showed nothing. I gawked at her showing my astonishment. "Why haven't you come to see me in two weeks?"
After she breaks the silence i say,"I thought would you hate me after what I did to Drew."
"So she told you?"
"Yeah,"i skiped a beat,"why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want you to feel weird around you only friend. I don't think i should tell you this,but you were the first girl i had a crush on." After she said that she blushed,and i looked at the ground. "I don't have those feelings for you anymore. I did when i was younger because you were the only girl that had ever talked to me to talk to me." I understood what she ment. When Sam and her go out all the girls in the world talk to her so they can talk to Sam. "Lili i just want you to know... that you will always be my best friend no matter what."
"I know Isabelle, i know."
"I'm just confused. If you two still had feelings for each other why did you break up?"
"She was in love with more than just me."
"Who?"
"Its kinda funny......you"
"But she never met me?"
"She did see you she just didn't know who you were."
"How did she know me?"
"Through me. I talked about you a lot,and i could tell by the way she looked when your name came up. Then one day she asked to met you. I waited for a bit and broke up with her."
"Oh..." I wonder how much Lili talks about me to her other friends. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah.. i'm perfectly fine,"she said with distance in her voice. I can see more tears in her eyes,but she doesn't let them flow. "Do you need to be alone?"
"No. Actually would you mind staying?"
"I'll stay,but only if you promise me one thing."
"Why is it?"
I joke," Just promise you won't hit on me!" That made her laugh,and broke the tension. I told her i would stay.
°°°
I woke up with a start. It took me a minute to remember i was in Lili's room and not my apartment. I realized the reason i woke up was because it felt like i was being watched. I saw Lili's door was slightly open. I got up slowly so i wouldn't wake Lili. I opened the door slowly,then heard something moving outside. I walked out of her room then I closed the door. I looked to the right and saw that Sam's door was open. I slowly walked over to the door and looked inside. When i saw that Sam wasn't in his room i got confused. Then i heard Sam say,"So i'm not the only one who stalks in the night." I turned around and saw he was shirtless. It must be basketball season because he was ripped. Then i noticed i was staring at his chest for to long. "I'm only up because someone was watching me,"i say. Then he started blushing and said,"
