No Control

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The deadly spiral
Has begin again
Onslaught of thoughts
Waves of pain

An ache in my chest
A lump in my throat
Drowning in an ocean
No sight of a boat

Creating problems
That didn't exist
The hurtful words
In my mind persist

Words left unsaid
Gnaw at my heart
Feelings bottled
Rip me apart

Heart controls the mind
It shouldn't be so
It will break me
I can't let go.

Out of control
Thoughts rushing by
To cease the spiral
I hopelessly try

But my mind is cruel
An endless torment
During happy moments
I still lament

Why do I care,
For someone who doesn't?
Terrible memories,
Overpower the pleasant.

When will I reach,
The state of no fucks given,
And think freely,
Not hurt driven?

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