The Search

Prologue

I've been dying to see her since the day we've met. I'm frequently dreaming of her. Frequently. Every time it hurts more. In my dreams, I am always trying to reach for her. Her. Trying. Trying. Trying. Failing. When I get close to reaching her, I end up reaching for myself. I wake up. I sleep. The dreams come back.

I am now closer. I am more nervous then I've ever been. My heart is racing. My breath is...Will I found her? Will she be glad to see me? The last time we saw each other, it was incredible, but things were clear when she left.

I am trying to find her since. I feel like when she left, she took some part of me with her, not something vital, I could still live, but something more important, something that made my life shine. She left. I have not been the same since.

"I think I love you". Her words echoed in my mind. Her words kept guiding me to her house. It was like a map in my head. "Please, don't go", I remembered my answer. I was being honest. She was one of the best things that have been happened to me in the last years. I loved her too, even though I was too selfish to admit. "You're not selfish". She told me. She was always like this. Helping me to find the best in myself. I found. It was her. Now she isn't here and I don't know what to do.

Except looking for her. I decided after class to search for her on the internet. She moved after we graduated from high school to start college and we decided that a long-distance relationship wasn't going to work. "We should let things finish as good as they are". I remember she told me crying. That day I was going to propose to her. I didn't.

"Can we meet someday?" – I have asked her.

"Of course, we can, but I don't think its such a good idea. We have to accept the fact that we will be apart for at least 4 years"

"When will you go?"

"Next Friday"

She went.

I started college a month after she went away. It was fine. I have never had a problem in school to make friends and to interact, so after a few weeks, I was close to three people that helped me to, not forget, but to live with the idea that I was apart of the person I've loved the most.

I found her profile on Facebook. She didn't have one when we were together. "Social networks are a place to narcissistic find each other do unnecessary things ". This was her answer when I asked her why she didn't like social media.

I scroll through her profile. Columbia University, New York City. She was majoring in history. "You're weird," I told her. I didn't think so. Her last post was from 9 months ago. And she didn't have a lot of posts. Only news and articles about veganism and animals being rescued. Man, I love her. The last post was from her graduation at Columbia. Maybe she went to her parent's house.

Her I am.

Her house.

I remember the first time I brought her here.

"I am supposed to kiss you," I told her.

"Meh, I am too tired" was her answer.

I have never been here since she left so I didn't know what to expect. The house was a little different now. However, the same yellow color remained. Except for the lawn. The garden looked like no one lived there for a long time. It was weird.

I thought her parents were on vacation, so it was normal. I knocked on the door. One time. Twice. Three times. No one was to answer me. When I was leaving the door, I heard a noise inside and I stayed.

The door opened.

A tall man with blue eyes - her eyes - opened the door. I didn't know him. I guess he is a cousin or uncle. Whatever. The only thing I am thinking is that I'm going to find her.

- Excuse me, Sir, is Sara here?

- What?

- I'm sorry?

- There is no Sara here. I think you have the address wrong.

- Sara Warst, doesn't she live here?

- No, this is the Norman family house.