Paranormal Fish Entreaty

Today I have been hiking up the Himalayas on my Segway. I fitted some amusing "yeti footprint" creators on the wheels, which left a trail behind me wherever I went. That should prove interesting for the devoted band of Ugandan paranormal investigators who are inevitably drawn to my path across the world.

When I got to the top there was an old man with a massive beard and white robes who said, "I'll have two packets of crisps and a carton of orange juice please." He had mistaken me for the delivery boy who turns up every 200 years. When he realized I was someone else, he started chanting something in an alien language and then presented me with an outstanding bowl of fruit. It turned out he was a member of a secret brotherhood that lives inside the mountain, and he invited me in to have a look around.

He led me through all these tunnels until we eventually came out in front of a giant pit that led to the centre of the Earth. All the other brotherhood members were standing around it and chanting, whilst a tiny penguin ran around and around them all, waving a banner with a picture of a baguette on it. I peered inside the pit and would you know it, there was a giant mirror on the other end, but this was no ordinary mirror! When I looked at it the reflection of my face actually appeared in the form of a billion plastic kinder egg toys that writhed around in some kind of eternal dance. Then all these fish hovered into the room and declared themselves to collectively represent the estate of Elvis Presley. I didn't believe them and immediately started doing unauthorised Elvis impressions to spite them. They tried to get their lawyer on me, but he was just a stupid haddock and I easily bested him in a pole vaulting contest. He only got 3 centimetres off the ground! Hahaha!

After that I flew off back to my orbiting space hotel, doing UFO impressions as I approached escape velocity, to further feed the paranormal investigative frenzy shifting on the surface of the Himalayas below.