Mother and father are going to church again, they are going to tell me to go with them and I will have to agree. There is no changing that, no questioning, no fighting it. Whether I want to or not I will have to go. They will enter church rooms and go each their separate way, Mom will go to the front or the room and sit next to the women. Dad will go to the back of the class and sit with the men, joking about how wiped he is and how mom forces him to do chores ( which are both lies) and the other men will laugh. The children will be corralled in a different room and will be forced to sit still, they will not be allowed to do home work, laugh, talk to each other, or draw. They will be told to look forward as a woman speaks to them about obedience, we will be told that if we have any problems to talk to them, those who are gullible enough will and then their parents will be told and the child will be scolded at home. They will not let us out until it is about 11:45pm.
I am 16, I will not go to that room where the parents argue about who will have to watch the children (none of them want to). The adults there will try to put me in that room and not allow me to do my homework , I will not listen, I will not have them ruin my grades even more. They will try to threaten me I will ignore them. I will be looked down upon as a trouble child.
This will happen with ought a doubt, I know this all to well. This will happen and I will be silent, my parents will be happy with the silence.
I will work on my homework as i sit on a bench in a hallway, my parents laughter will run trough the hall. They will sound happy and I will smile. I will finish my homework in silents listening to my parents laugh. I will walk outside and sit on the brick wall by the stairs that lead to the parking lot and look up at the stars. The stars will keep me company along with the moon until 11:45.
I will lean my head back and look up at the stars, the angels that are looking down at me and dream of possibilities. The warm air will hug me and the crickets will sing me songs and I will feel warm. My heart will feel like crying but I will not cry for the stars will be looking at me and will feel sad. I will silently smile at them for they watch me and try to cheer me up by twinkling in the darkness so i will not feel alone.
My parents will get out of church and talk to their friends for another wile, each in their separate group. I will jump down and head to one group then the other. They will not notice me and I will hear them spitting venom.
We will head home, they will be silent, then they will argue. I will unwillingly be thrown into the argument I will stay silent.
I am 16 I know better than to talk, I know better than to tell them my opinion, I know that I will be the one in trouble if I say anything at all. They will get upset because I did not side with aether one of them and will be punished.
I will be called slow, stupid, mute,rock, imbusile, I will be called a turtle, and a coward. I will be silent.
I will be told to stay up that whole night, siting at the dining room table, I will be told to think about what I have done. I will be told I have no heart for not supporting mother, I will be ignored by father. I will stay silent.
I will be awake all tonight , I will be silent. I will think of the stars that are shining brightly for me tonight. I will think of the air that wants to warm my cold night, I will think of the crickets that are singing me a lullaby. I will stay silent as I hear my parents sleep that night.
This will happen, I know for a fact, this is what happens every church night. There is no changing it, no questioning it, no fighting it. I will stay silent for my parents will have peace.
