Skulduggery Pleasant One Shots

A Horror Of The Spirit

"A horror of the spirit that cannot be exceeded at the hour of birth or death."

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Pre-Valkyrie. This is the story of Skulduggery's first partner. 

Detective Robert Warlow squinted, his eyes straining against the merciless sun's attacks. He supposed it was all part of the desert day. Robert was really beginning to regret wearing his smart vermillion vest. Small crimson clouds danced around his feet, ruining his perfectly good shoes. A slight crunch was heard with each apprehensive footstep. He was supposed to meet up with his assigned mentor; Skulduggery Pleasant. He was told that Skulduggery was not allowed to interfere with his actions -no matter what-, only guide him. This was a sort of test, to see if he had what it takes to become a proper Sanctuary detective. The same rules stopped him from using magic, as well as a binding bracelet, so he relied solely on his ken. In theory he was able to solve this case and deal with the details like a professional, but he was faintly aware that the cold indifference that was present during study would not come easily upon seeing an expired body. Robert disregarded his emotions and fear, as he objectively approached the vehicle. He was curious about this case. After all, he knew that it is one thing to mortify curiosity, another to conquer it. He gazed inside and faltered. The sight that greeted him was a horror of the spirit that cannot be exceeded at the hour of birth or death. The insensate, emerald eyes gazed into his soul, glazed over and full of an extreme foreign panic. Limp limbs yielded to gravity, gently resting next to an inflated chest as if their owner was merely asleep, though Robert knew that was not the case. However, it was the smell that did it for him. It was a cold and heavy scent, smelling of rotting meat with a few drops of cheap perfume. It was pungent mixed with sickening sweetness. It crept up his nostrils making him feel as if he had swallowed acid. He could taste it. He could taste the cadaver. It appeared the corpse was just as repulsed due to the slightly pink foam dripping from his mouth. Robert ran away from the car trying not to gag, tears of shock and disgust involuntarily streaming down his face. Even then the smell still lingered, not quite going away. It was caught in his nose, on his tongue, at the back of his throat. Suddenly the background noise flooded back in with the blaring noise of the police sirens, snapping him back to reality. He took a deep breath to calm his farrago of thoughts and ate one of the mints to disperse the horrid taste in his mouth. Robert desperately began to distract himself by analysing what he had just seen and comparing it with his prior knowledge of Varian's file. He recalled Rose's panicked eyes, his bloated chest and the salmon froth leaking from his lips. He was so focused, that he didn't notice the cloaked man approaching him.

"Vile, isn't it," the clinical voice of the sanctuary official stated. Warlow jolted in surprise and quickly read the man's name tag: Skulduggery Pleasant. "I take it you're my newly assigned partner?" Pleasant's pause was scanty and his tone indifferent, only allowing time for Robert to nod before he continued. "I have been charged with informing you of the details of this investigation. The victim's name was Varian Rose. He recently received a large inheritance from his late father; roughly $50 000 000. We are currently uncertain of how he perished since I'm not allowed to try and solve the case-"

Robert cut him off, "He was drowned. You can tell by the foam coming out of his mouth from the water in the lungs, his lungs expanded to try and hold more air therefore swelling his chest, and the look of panic in his eyes, signalling he was aware he was being murdered."

Skulduggery seemed to glare at the detective. "Impressive deduction, but I would greatly appreciate if you could take the liberty to refrain from interrupting me with your monotonous discourse," he floridly reprimanded Warlow, quite clearly unimpressed with his behaviour. "Now, if you will allow me to continue, I can inform you of our suspicions," he paused and gave the detective a testing head tilt. "The other amateur detectives believe his sister, Avia Rose, drowned him to claim the inheritance. If you'll wait here, I can fetch the objects the others found from my car, so you can inspect them." This time, Skulduggery didn't even await an answer as he promptly found and handed over the objects in clear plastic bags. Pleasant waited impatiently, irregularly tapping his foot, as Robert studied the contents of the bag. The bags contained a book on alchemy, matches, a pen, car keys and a driver's licence. Warlow looked up.