it was only a day into the whole incident yet it felt like years to the group. Earlier the doctors had come out to announce that in order to stabilize the patient he needed to be put into coma for a bit.
a bit?
what was a bit? weeks? months? years?
Jeongguk's heart broke at the announcement. It was probably the second time in his life where he felt so much agony and regret. He blamed himself for not speaking faster or not keeping his eyes on taehyung the entire time. He regret that it wasn't him. ' why not me ?" his mind was a was an inner battle to itself finding every strength just to pull himself together.
it wasn't that easy. He had been holding so much in ever since the start. Tears began falling down his vanilla cheeks and a familiar feeling took over him. It's what he had felt when when he was getting his first tattoo. A lovely purple rose with its petals on fire. He had go it done illegally when he was only 17. The age of allowance being 19, he didn't care because Taehyung was with him there. Actually he had supported the idea although it was against the law.
The entire time he held his hand in support as jeongguk tried his best to ignore the stabbing pain on his left wrist. But only this time, the stabbing pain wasn't in his left wrist, it was in the middle of his chest where his heart used to beat. Used to, yes. His lifeline is Kim Taehyung. He's what makes his heart beat. The tattoo turned out beautiful, hopefully this situation would too.
By this point he was a sobbing mess just thinking about the fond memories. Replaying each moment a little more just so it wouldn't hurt as much. He couldn't, it would look weak and pathetic. He couldn't show his true emotions, no that was overrated. Truth be told, he doesn't know how.
Just for this moment, no matter how much his insides were screaming at him to stop. He let himself cry. He left himself go and scream.
Everyone surrounding him remained in painful silence. Yes they've seen jeongguk cry, but only when he was very little. Namjoon shot Jin a look of worry, and Jimin took him into his hold. He slowly rubbed his back in circles and harassed his hair.
" it's okay jeongguk-ah, our tae will be okay."
the accident had left all of them in distress but they had to be strong for jeongguk. They knew about the love he had for the older boy, which now lay in a blue gown. Jimin felt bad for him, he felt bad that things turned out this way. After Jeongguks parents separated the boy never got the chance of true happiness. Of course he still loved his parents, they just weren't meant for each other. There's someone better out there for them.
After a while of crying in Jimins embrace, the nurse had come out of Taehyung's room and told them they could go see him. They all shared glances and nudged Jeongguk forward.
He flashed his signature soft bunny smile, and entered the room. He gasped at the sight of Taehyung's eyes closed and machines all over him. He once again sat on the arm chair, and read out his second letter.
" I look back in time and it's as if you were never hiding anything
you looked so free yet you weren't
remember that time we were passing by that child crying?
you crouched down and tried to comfort him you looked at him so fondly and beautifully
it made me want to raise kids with you one day
you looked like an angel in disguise
please don't break my heart ive been broken before
just open those soft brown eyes once more look into my eyes and say you love me
i love you too, always will, always have
ive lost my way, i don't know where to go tae.. and yet it's only been so long
my heart already aches for your laugh ah that addictive sound
yet you were always so insecure about it you fool
your perfect in every way
when i look at you, my world is standing in front of me
you are my world
my universe, my galexy
come back to me tae please don't go away
remember me
love, your jeongguk "
he got up and took one last look at the boy laying on the bed. Somewhere he still had some hope, that everything would be okay. He would hold Taehyung in his arms again, one day. They would go on stupid little dates and jeongguk would love him. He was just waiting for that one day. It would come soon, he knew it.
his hyungs looked at him causiously before one by one going into the room. Jeongguk seated himself next to Yoongi who shared a mutual feeling. He had a lover before Jimin. One day he came home and found him laying on the floor with a bubbly white liquid coming from his mouth. It was a defestating sight to see.
Later on, he realized that it was suicide and that his lover drank poison. It took him a good 3 years to move on. His mind kept wandering to what caused it and he considered it his fault for not checking up. Even though he thought everything was okay. When in reality, he was dying inside.
He knew what jeongguk was going through. And he promised himself to not make it as hard for him. Slightly hitting him on his shoulder he got up from his seat and handmotioned jeongguk to do the same.
jeongguk raised and eyebrow at him confused as to what he was doing.
" let's go get your mind off things yea?"
jeongguk hesitated for a second, " what about tae?"
" the others are with him, plus i think you need it."
he really did need it. It's not that he wanted to be away from taehyung, no it's the opposite. But it was just causing him to much pain to see him like that. With his puffy eyes his lips curved up into a soft smile as both exited the hosipital.
≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ────
thank you for reading! february 1 2020, 5:22 pm >> s
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