Self-Discovery

Chapter 5

A few nights past after the golf double date. Minjun and Taec were spending a lot more time together, even at each other's homes. Tonight they walked to Minjun's place giggling their heads off half drunk from that feeling of new romance and half from soju. They almost fell into the house as Minjun unlocked the door.

"Oh my god, Taec you are so goofy." Minjun said laughing.

"I'm just saying Woo Young looks like a baby chick." Taec said. The boys were laughing and plopped on the couch bumping into each other. Somehow an advertisement for roasted duck had led to Taec realization.

"Nichkhun could do so much better." Minjun said.

"And who would be better for him, Taec asked, you?" Taec suddenly became serious putting Minjun on the spot.

"Well, Minjun started and nervously scratched the back of his head, I mean I don't know." Minjun's mood changed back into awkwardness, as he started to shift in his seat.

"Geez, what kind of a hold does he have over you?" Taec questioned angrily.

"I LET HIM TAKE MY VIRGINITY!" Minjun shouted suddenly. He tried to stop the tears from flowing but soon his cheeks were warm from the heat of embarrassment and his tears. Taec was silently suffering as it pained him to see his friend hurting. He reached over and pulled Minjun over to him. Minjun nestled into Taec's body as Taec consoled him.

"Please talk to me, Taec said, if you talk about it, you might feel better."

"There is nothing really to talk about Taec, Minjun started, we had sex one night."

"If that's all it was why are you so hurt?" Taec asked. Minjun was quiet thinking about how to answer the question. Finally he sat up and looked at Taec, deciding to tell the whole story.

"I was...I am in love with Nichkhun." Minjun said. Taec felt as if a brick had just hit him in the chest, but he didn't react. He just listened.

"I was in love with him during our college days, Minjun continued, I didn't even know he knew I was gay. I tried to keep my feelings a secret, especially since at the time he was dating women. I liked being friends with him and didn't want that affected by my feelings. One night he came to me and he wanted me." Minjun paused taking a moment because the feelings were all still impacting him. Taec patted Minjun on the back continuing to console. Finally Minjun looked back at Taec and continued explaining.

"We had sex that night, Minjun confessed, and he didn't know I was a virgin. I wanted him so bad honestly I never thought to tell him. That morning he woke up and I don't know he seemed..." Minjun stopped to think of the right words.

"Embarrassed?" Taec offered.

"Yea, almost as if he never wanted to come out, Minjun explained, yet after that it was as if sleeping with me opened him up to live freely as a gay man."

"But he didn't want that with you." Taec assumed.

"No, he said we were friends and he acted as if it never happened." Minjun revealed.

"Why, are you so in love with him, Taec asked, since he treated you like that?"

"I don't know." Minjun said.

"Well, stop it, Taec told him, cause I like you." Minjun looked at Taec and said: "I like you too. It's been a long time since, I have liked someone other than Khun."

"Well go with that feeling." Taec said and put his hand on Minjun's thigh. Minjun felt heat rush through his body as he was immediately turned on by Taec's touch.

"Haven't I showed you that I truly care about you?" Taec asked getting closer to Minjun.

"Yes." Minjun answered as Taec move in even closer.