He's So Gone (Completed)

Getting to Know the Real You

Diana

Not once did Aeron talk so far into the little pizza/movie night it all suddenly turned into. But he sure was eating a lot of the pizza. For once a guy didn't make me feel insecure about what I ate.

I kept glancing over at him every time I grabbed a slice of pizza and his eyes were completely fixed on the TV. It was as if they were soaking in every image.

He didn't seem to like the movie too much. But I saw him smirk at the recreation of the Kevin Bacon dance from Footloose and smiled to myself guessing he'd caught the reference. Part of me, however, thought about his headphones.

Classical music. I wonder how long it took him to figure that one out. How many days did he go slamming his head against a wall to get rid of those voices? Why am I even angry at him? It's not like he can help himself. I guess I'm just a little heartbroken. As stupid as it sounds. This whole time I was falling for this guy that didn't actually exist. He was just a part of a whole other being! Maybe ...

I glanced over at Aeron, trying to hide my jealousy of Lily and Hunter cuddling and occasionally kissing one another on the temple.

Maybe I can get to know the other parts of him. Maybe there's someone in there that I haven't met and is just dying to get out.

Though the analogy was actually literal, I didn't want it to be. I meant that there was more to one person than just simply being smart. Who knows what Aeron is capable of.

I decided in my head as the movie was coming to an end that I was done with the silent treatment both of us were giving to each other. He didn't deserve this. He knew about his mental illnesses and was now being ostracized for being different.

He must have had the same thing in mind because once the movie ended, he asked if we could talk. Lily and Hunter were awkwardly silent and just sat there. I kept my eyes on Aeron and nodded. I led him into my room and shut the door.

I invited him onto my bed and he took a seat. I tried to not focus on his skinny thighs as mine were twice his size. I wanted to roll up in a ball and forget ever meeting him and his imaginary other half.

"I apologize for what I have put you through these past few days." I shrugged

"I get it," I admitted. I had analyzed everything in my head during the movie. "But ... why didn't you just tell me? I scolded Hunter for convincing me you had a twin but even you said that to me."

"Well look what happened." He turned to me as he placed his hands between his legs. I looked away and frowned. "Excuse me," he jumped off the bed and must have seen the open door bathroom in the hall between Lily's and my rooms. He turned on the light and began to wash his hands senseless.

I hesitantly walked down the small hallway and leaned against the door frame of the bathroom.

"So the hand washing thing, that's part of your OCD?" He nodded without looking up from his red, swollen hands. "I have a lot of questions." He turned off the water and found a towel to dry his hands. He wasn't very courteous but I understood that he couldn't really let manners get in the way of his mental illness. "But I won't ask you any of them." He stopped and looked at me. I folded my arms and looked him in the eyes. "I want to get to know you, Aeron, I want to know the real you." He didn't smile or anything and I couldn't read his face.

He set the towel back where he found it and stepped out of the bathroom, turning off the light.

"I don't know if that'd be a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't date," his comment stung. It was the same feeling I got in the hospital when he repeated those exact words to me earlier. I was feeling rejection all over again.

I allowed my emotions to show too easily and he caught the distant look in my face. "I'm sorry, it's just, I don't want the thought of you only being with me because you get to see him."

"That's not it! I mean, I like that side of you."

"What makes you think you'll enjoy the others?"

"Please?" I stupidly pleaded. What was I doing? He obviously isn't interested in me. But the flirty him came to mind. At the hospital, when he first woke up, that was him, not Frederick. And he flirted with me. "Do you ... do you find me ... attractive ... at all?" I barely got off my tongue. I looked down and felt like a complete idiot in front of him because I was wearing a red sweatshirt and navy sweatpants. We stood in the hallway in the dark. His headphones were still in his ears and while we spoke it kind of irritated me because I felt like I was talking to myself.

"I do," I looked up at him surprised. "Okay," he sighed. He placed his hands in his pockets before he pushed my glasses up on my face only making me blush madly. "If I had to pick one cute thing about you, it'd be those," I looked down trying to hide the blush even though it was semi-dark in the hall. "What about me?"

"I think I actually kind of like you without glasses."

"No," he chuckled, "what do you find at least a little attractive about me?"

Uhhh all of you!

"Your bike."

"But you've never seen my bike."

"Then you need to take me out on a ride because so far ... that's all I'm finding attracting about you." He chuckled and nodded seriously.

I never thought our stupid, serious conversation would turn into something this sappy and lame but I was glad I was getting to know the real Aeron.

We walked back into my room and sat back down on the bed. "Has uh ... he ever kissed you?" Aeron asked hesitantly. His face showed no emotion and I wish I could see at least a little bit of emotion. Maybe even jealousy for another that doesn't even exist. I guess to Aeron, Frederick does exist.

"You don't remember anything when he's around, do you?" He shook his head and finally allowed his face to show some expression. But I didn't like it.

Aeron scrunched up his nose and narrowed his eyes. He then sat on his hands and answered me. "But he remembers everything I say, or do. But I'm smart, and I know how to keep a few things from him. Or at least that's how it feels."

"What kind of things?" He gave me a wicked smile.

"Things that you wouldn't want to know."

I was done.

I folded my arms and huffed. "Aeron Frederick Griffin, if I'm going to get to know you, then you're gonna have to trust me." He looked surprised at my not backing down. "I'm not a voice in your head, I'm real." Before I knew it, I made a grown man cry. His face was motionless but the tears seeping out of those beautiful blue eyes of his said otherwise. I turned red and looked away, stuffing my own hands under my thick thighs. "I'm coming on way too strong. I'm so sorry. I don't talk a lot to boys but over this week or so I guess you just give confidence that I over use."

"Thanks." I looked back at him and he must have wiped the tears away, for there weren't any left on his thin face. "No one's ever asked me to trust them. It's really hard to ... you know? I'm afraid of getting their voices trapped in my head, so I stay clear of a firm relationship."

"What about you and Hunter?"

"He's a good friend. But he deserves a whole lot better than me. ... And so do you." He looked at me and our eyes met. Brown to blue, glasses to pure.

His phone rang, and he had to leave. I laid in bed that night thinking about that mind of his that was guarded by a giant and thick wall that I became determined to knock down.