Laugh till you die!

Jokes 5.

1. What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!

2. If someone asks you to spell "part A" backwards, don't do it.

It's a Trap.

3. Knock, knock. 

Who's there? 

Cows go. 

Cows go who? 

No, cows go moo!

4. Teacher: "Jill, where is the America on the map?" 

Jill: "Right there, teacher." 

Teacher: "Correct. Now, Jack, tell me who found America." 

Jack: "Jill."

5. Q: My boyfriend is as beautiful as Frank Sinatra and as intelligent as Albert Einstein; what is his name? 

A: Frankenstein.

6. A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

7. A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it! Its an asswhole!"

8. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."