nine seconds [J9 | COMPLETED]

eight seconds

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling hungry. I was half-asleep as I stretch my aching body. I feel thirsty and I can feel how dry my throat is.

I clearly remember the dream I had. Nine came to me and I told him how sorry I was. And that my heart beats for him.

I heaved a sigh. Looking down, I noticed my pants have changed and so as my shirt. Confusion grew up on me. I stood up trying so hard to maintain my balance.

I went out of my bedroom and my body froze. Suddenly, I am fully awake.

"Nine..."

He was on the sofa. Sleeping while hugging a pillow. He looks cute and my heart couldn't handle the view. I hurried back to my bedroom and closed the door.

I stayed confused, shocked, and blank for at least five minutes. I needed to recollect myself to calm down and when everything's fine, I went to him.

He's sleeping like a baby. My face would flush red everytime I imagine him wiping my body. I knelt down the floor and stared at his pretty face. I miss him so much. I miss the way he talks to me and the ways of him getting mad at me. I miss even the slightest strands of hair he have. I miss his smile. I miss the touch of his skin. I miss him. I miss everything about him.

My eyes were all of a sudden glued on his lips. If I could compare the color of his lips, it's the wild strawberries in the mountains or perhaps the cherry blossoms in the spring.

My heart was going crazy almost breaking my ribcage.

I reached for his face as I bite my lower lip.

What are you doing, Joong?

I want to kiss him.

You're crazy!

I couldn't fight my emotions. I was already drunk in love and by the thought of kissing him.

When did I start wanting to feel his lips?

Oh that summer of our lives. That summer that changed my heart. That summer that made me only think of Nine and now I couldn't ever get him out of my mind.

I closed my eyes for a moment and then stood up. I turned my back at him. I must not do this. I must not be so cruel to him. I have already made him angry and I don't want him to hate me completely.

I don't want him to disappear from my life. If it's only friendship that he could give me. Then, I will learn to accept that he never thought of me something more than that. I will learn to heal while seeing him laugh everyday... as I am his friend.

I was about to take a step forward to leave him on the sofa, to not bother him on his sleep and to go back to my room when suddenly he spoke.

"Why did you stop? Are you hesitating to kiss me, Joong?"

I couldn't move my body. I can't look at him. I can't let him see how embarrassed I look.

I could feel him get up from the sofa and his small steps are slowly getting near me.

"Look at me."

I know he's mad but he doesn't sound like he is. He speaks calmly as if he was trying to keep his cool or maybe, I hope, he wasn't mad at me. But that was impossible.

I didn't look at him.

"I'm so mad at you, Joong. I hate you."

I knew it.

I nodded my head.

"I-m sor---"

"Your mom called me. She said you ended her call and you were sick."

Maybe I accidently tapped the end button.

"I hate you."

I know you hate me, Nine. I know and I'm sorry.

There was silence and it was broken by his sobs. He was crying when I finally looked at him. His eyes were as red as his cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I finally said it.

"I was worried! I hate you! I was worried about you! I panicked when your mom called and I hurried to your room and then you were burning hot! I hate you! Why didn't you tell me you were sick? I hate you! Joong!"

And I hugged him at last.
I embraced his trembling body and gently caressed his back while saying sorry.

He stopped and let go of the hug. He pouted his lips but he is crying. He looks like a cute puppy. I laughed and he lightly punched me on my stomach.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I kept saying sorry.

He shook his head from left to right and tiptoed.

"Kiss me." He said.