DEC x Reader one-shots

Connor Murphy X Hansen! Reader

1: Memories
Trigger warnings of suicide and drug abuse
Angst
~

I stood in front of a growing apple tree, the tree was so small and no apples were apparent on the honey crisp apple tree. Tears dripped from my cheeks as I walked out of the orchard.

I stopped and brushed my hand against the sign,'The Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard.' Tears welled up in my eyes again as I sprinted away as fast as I could.

"Connor!" I whined out as he held my book over my head, "I just wanna see what you're reading, Hansen."

I tried to jump up and grab my book as he turned away, his eyes softened,"The Little Prince..." his voice went quieter.

He stopped dead in his tracks, "Why that book?" He tossed it back to me.

"I enjoy this book thank you very much" I huffed.

Connor didn't say anything, he just fidgeted with his bracelets, I blinked a few times.

~

I held Connor close to me as he cried violently. He was going through withdrawal and having an anxiety attack.

It was 3 in the morning but I didn't care, I just held him close and strokes his hair gently to get him to calm down.

"I love you, (Y/n)" he sobbed.

"I love you too, Connor" I said as he kissed me gently, butterflies raced through my stomach.

~

I walked into Connor's room and coughed as there was a fairly large cloud of smoke that blew into my face.

I looked at him, "(Y-Y/n)?" He hadn't expected me to come by as he held the blunt in his hand.

"I thought you were trying to stop?" I said sadly.

"Do you know how fucking hard it is to just quit like that? You're just like my parents and Zoe. 'Connor you're such a freak, why don't you stop smoking and be normal?' Sound familiar, (Y/n)?" He hissed.

"Connor I-"

"Shut the fuck up and go, now!" He said and slammed the door on my face.

~

Visiting the Murphy house after.... ahem Zoe had called me over because there was something she handed me a book.

The small book with a hard cover I knew all too well. I looked up at her, "Open it" she told me. I did as I was told.

There was a note on the inside cover. It made my stomach burn and I felt the feeling to throw up in the back of my throat as I read it.

Dear (Y/n),
Look, Hansen, I'm sorry about today. I didn't mean to snap at you, really I didn't mean it. I love you, and I just... Ah you're too perfect for this world, you should surround yourself with people who aren't fucked up. I'm sorry all I did was drag you down. You're the most important person in the world to me... I love you (Y/n) (M/n) Hansen.
- CONNOR

I fell on my knees, crying.

I shook my head as I walked home. I sat on my bed holding the book, the spine slightly frayed and the color faded slightly.

I flipped through the book. Certain things throughout the book were highlighted.

'It's much more difficult to judge oneself then to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself rightly then you are indeed a man of true wisdom'

'It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye'

'All grownups were once children, but only few of them remember it'

'The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart'

'True love begins when nothing is looked for in return'

I quickly closed the book as a tear drop fell on the cover. I had closed it fast to avoid smudging anything.

I let out a small breath as I heard Evan walk into the house, I hadn't spoken to him since he started pretending to be Connor's friend.

He knew how much I loved him and how close I was to him and he still just pretended like he knew the true Connor.

He knocked on my open door to get my attention but I just went under my blanket and turned my back to him.

He walked over and sat down,"I'm sorry, for everything."

"You never even knew him, yet you pretended" I held back tears,"I know... and I regret it still, it's a burden I'm gonna carry with me for the rest of my life"

I look at him,"it's been a year and a half... please don't keep staying mad at me..."

I started to cry as I tackle hugged him,"it took you too damn long!" I cried as I hugged him tightly. He held me gently and stroked my hair,"I know I know, I'm sorry... I love you" he whispered as I continued to cry.

I swear to god I saw Connor by my window, smiling softly at me before disappearing completely. I just nuzzles into Evan more.

Fin.