Summer

Chapter 43

        I woke up around lunch time with a new determination. I won’t lose Harry over something as stupid as this. Apparently Liam had filled Dani in because she didn’t ask any questions when she saw me. She just gave me a really long hug. I needed that. They tried to get me to eat, but I just wasn’t hungry.

        I told them where I needed to go, and Dani let me borrow some of her clothes. God, I don’t know what I would do without them. Liam and Dani dropped me off at Haz and Lou’s flat. I didn’t tell them I was coming. Harry most likely wouldn’t let me in. I needed to talk to him.

        As I walked up the stairs, my heart sped up. Instead of knocking, I just got the key from where I knew they keep it hidden and let myself in. I shouldn’t have come. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache.

        On the couch, Harry was making out with some blonde haired girl I’d never laid eyes on. When they heard the door open, they broke apart, looking up at me.

        Damn it, she’s gorgeous.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Harry asked. He was slurring his words. Great. He’s fucking drunk.

“We need to talk.” I said, fighting back the tears.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He said, standing up and staggering towards me.

“Where’s Lou?” I asked, steadying myself so I wouldn’t cry in front of him.

“Oh, miss your boyfriend?” He asked in a teasing tone. I could smell the vodka coming off his breath.

“For the last fucking time, he kissed me! And he’s not my boyfriend! You are!” I shouted, trying to make him see reason.

“Ex. As of last night I believe it was?” he said, stumbling forward a little more.

        He was so close now that I thought he might kiss me, but instead he just whispered in my ear.

“Get out. I’m kind of busy.” He said, turning around and smiling at the blonde girl.

“Not until we talk.” I said.

“Get out!” he yelled.

“No.” I said, remaining calm.

“GET OUT SO I CAN FUCK HER!” he roared.

        I slapped him across the face and left without looking back, letting all the tears that I held in spill over.

        Liam and Dani were waiting for me, and when I got in the car, again they didn’t ask questions.

        I spent the rest of the day crying and telling them everything that had happened in the flat. Dani let me borrow some of her favorite sweat pants, and I ate about a gallon of strawberry ice cream.

        Zayn and Niall had been notified of the situation, and they had come over to console me too. They believed me like Liam did, and I couldn’t thank them enough. Perrie and Dani laid with me while I watched sad romantic movies all day.

        I checked my phone every ten minutes, hoping to see a message from Harry, saying that Lou told him the truth, but nothing ever came. I fell asleep alone, crying into a pillow.

        For the second night in a row, I fell asleep without Harry’s arms around me, and it was a feeling that I never thought I’d have to feel. I didn’t want to feel it.

        Okay. New day, new start. Today I’m going back to the flat to get all of my things that are still over there so I can stop borrowing Dani’s clothes. Liam drove me to the flat and waited outside. I told him I wouldn’t be long.

        I let myself in like yesterday, not caring what I walked in on. I saw Harry out of the corner of my eye. He jumped at the sight of me, but otherwise ignored my presence altogether.

        I went into his room and got my suit case, made sure I had everything, then started heading for the door, when Harry spoke up.

“So this is it then?” He asked.

        I looked at him for the first time. He looked like he hadn’t showered since I left, and he had bags under his eyes. I could also make out a light purple bruise that spread across his cheekbone from where I slapped him. Good.

“Well, since you refuse to believe me, I guess yeah. This is it.” I said.

“I can’t believe you’re throwing this all away.” He said, shaking his head.

        I lost it.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD HARRY! You are the one throwing all of this away! You won’t believe me! You only choose to believe your lying, scumbag, douche roommate! We hadn’t even been broken up a day. Not a God damned day, and you’re already fucking some blonde haired, big boobed skank! If that’s what you want, then go right ahead and fucking take it. I don’t know why we even thought this would work in the first place! We live in different fucking countries! You have tour, I have school, and we’ll never see each other! And you knew that too! So why did you have to go and make me fall in love with you? I know what we had, and I’m not stupid enough to throw it all away! You say you can tell when I’m lying. Look at me. I didn’t kiss Lou! He kissed me. I still love you so much it hurts, and I don’t want to see you with anyone else. But I also want you to be happy. And if walking away from all of this will make you happy, then I’ll fucking walk away from all of it. Was I lying?” I asked, standing a foot away from him.

“Just go. Go before things get any worse. Go before you break my heart anymore than you have. Go before I break down because of all of this. Go.” He said emotionlessly.

        So I did just what I said I’d do. I walked away without looking back. Harry didn’t come after me.