Welcome to My World.

Forgive but Forget?

REMEMBER GUYS, OUTFITS AND OTHER LINKS AND SUCH ARE IN THE EXTERNAL LINKS. I DO THESE OUTFITS AND PUT THESE LINKS SO YOU GUYS SO CAN GET A VISUAL OF MY STORY. (theres not one in this story but i will say when there is ) ENJOY!!!!!

I went upstairs to get into the shower. I had a day ahead filled with being with Skylar. Frankly, I needed this day judging from what just went on. A part of me is confident in my decision because I don't want to be mad at him for the rest of my life. But there's also a part of me that he doesn't deserve my love, he doesn't deserve me. I am not that much of heartless person and to be completely honest...........I was missing him. But I'm not dumb enough to let him back in that easy. My heart isn't completely recovered. Being betrayed isn't easy to recover from.

I put on lipgloss & checked myself in the mirror before going out to my car. I had to meet Sky at the mall. I called her to tell her I was on my way.

"Sky, I'm leaving my house now"

"Ok baby, I'm on way then"

I pulled ino the parking lot of the mall & walked in. I stopped into Starbucks and got a frap and headed to meet Sky back at the entrance.

"Hey sexy" I spinned around and was greeted by my bestfriend with a big bear hug.

"Hey! watch it prized possesion in my hand" I motioned to my frap.

"Oh, i'm sorry! so OMG! tell me what happened this morning that is SOO urgent"

Me and Sky began our journey around the mall while i told my story.

"As much I want to rekindle things, I have way too much pride to just be so easy on him like he didn't do anything" I finished the story to Sky. She was slurping the rest of her milkshake & tossed it in the trash.

"Well, if you really want him back then you have to take your pride down just a little, Roc doesn't seem to care that your being as kind to give him any chances, he just wants you back. So this is a situation where you're the only one stressing your pride.....So just rekindle things like you and him never met. I'm sure he will be the one to fix his problems"

I nibbled on my bottom lip letting Sky's words sink in and just analyzing the whole thing.

"I just miss him. and I guess being hurt by him I never thought that would even happen, and now that I'm willing to forgive him, is my heart talking. Because my mind still thinks he is a jerk. What I want to do right now.......is listen to my heart."

Sky smiled big and squealed and pulled me in for a hug "Yay! Double dates again"

I pulled out the hug "Whoa, who even said we were gonna get back together"

She sucked her teeth and hooked her arm in mine. "Please, you will be getting that D again in no time."

I gawked and just laughed.

-Later that Night-

I was sitting in the living room surfing through channels because I had no other kind of life forms. I heard the basement door close meaning the studio session was over with my dad and the boys. I assumed that they were all going to head home. But I was mistaken. This very heavy body plopped down on my legs. "Ow! you fat ass" I struggle to pull my legs out from under them and I finally succeed.

He started watching the TV and I was just looking at him. It brought back so many memories. I smiled and he turned his head.

"What you smiling for ?" He asked.

I shook my head "No reason"

"Yes there is, come on don't be scared to tell daddy" I laughed

"What jokes you have, I surely don't miss those"

"C'mon on let's not lie. I'm joke master Roc"

"So you think......" I looked in his eyes. It brought SOOOOO many deeper feelings.

"Do you remember the time you asked me to be your girlfriend Roc? You, took me to my favorite bakery, You ordered me favorite cupcake and when I received it, there was a note on top of it that read 'will you be my GF' I thought it was so corny, and I couldn't turn you down, I was so skeptical though because being YOUR girlfriend was something that every girl was working up too, and me ? I had it so easy. But it was still a nice thought for me to say that you were mines after all the stuff that you helped me through. I was excited to have you there for me on so many different levels, and then our first real date, man I didn't think it could get any better. and then....." I looked away "our first time. Roc, you don't even understand how I felt when I heard you cheated on me. I gave you the one thing that was super sacred and it was just like you had sex with me and it didn't mean anything. I mean excuse me for getting into my feelings about that but WE HAD SEX.....& then you're going to go have sex with another girl like I was nothing. But I'm really trying hard to act like nothing happened, I'm willing to hear what happened with a clear mind, and please be COMPLETELY honest, I advise you not to dig yourself a deeper hole by lying to me"

Roc sighed and cleared his throat

"Well, it was on our last weekend of the tour, we went out to celebrate. I hadn't planned on bringing back a girl or even having sex with her, but things happened in the spur of the moment, I was already intoxicated with a few drinks. The boys advised that we start to head out, as we were leaving I was stopped by a girl, and you want honesty? man, she was BAD but all my mind was focused on was getting out of that club, so I pushed past her but she insisted. So I thought what could it have hurt bringing her back to the hotel. Yeah I was running on about 3 shots, & 2 glasses of Patron so that might had factored into it but I still had some sense. We finally made it to the hotel and all I honestly wanted to do was go to bed. I made my way to me & Ray's room and the girl followed. I told her she can sleep on the couch on the other side of the room. She was a pretty insistent girl. I made my way to my bed and my mind was set on the clouds, but I felt her climb into bed with me. I grunted & whispered to Ray to help me out, but he was KNOCKED. Soon as I know it her lips were on mine and things lead to something and yeah. But because I was drunk I lasted about 3 minutes, and you know I could do better. I felt the pang of guilt as soon as she left, & from my looks the next morning the boys knew what went down. So all in all, it was an obvious mistake and I haven't stopped thinking about how I hurt you, and I'm sorry"

I closed my eyes

"Condom?"

"India.......you know I always have a condom in my pocket..of course, especially because I still had somebody to come home to, I wasn't gonna do that to you."

I sighed relieved and opened my eyes

"I'm willing to work on whatever we had, I'm not trying to jump into anything but I honestly do miss you, and as crazy as this sounds I kind of need you even though the problem is you"

"So i'm forgiven?" he asked

"No, you still have to work for this" I grinned

"Can I have a kiss? That's one thing I really miss, your kisses"

He leaned forward and our lips almost met, I placed my finger to his. "You thought you was getting it this easy" He grinned and shook his head.

"It's good to feel like this again, but don't rush into anything with me that you know that you aren't ready for. You obviously weren't ready the first time when you even brought the girl back with you like let's be real Roc you are a guy, did you really expect nothing to happen?"

He sighed and threw his head back.

"I mean well, I was half drunk, she was a hot girl I guess I didn't complain about it until after the fact."

"Exaxctly my point, If you aren't ready to settle down don't lead me on just to do some stupid shit again"

He looked at me and ran his hand over my cheek. "India I love you, and no matter happens I always will, even when I fucked up, I still love you. We may go through some rough patches but I hope you will love me as much as I love you, to move past it"

"I do Roc....just, please don't hurt and betray me like that again, You know me i'm not a 2 second chance kinda girl, so you on a tight rope here"

-sorry this chapter short, the next 2 MIGHT be short so I can build a plot and then the long chapters will come :)-