LOVE YOU MORE

      Richie Tozier never really saw himself as a father.

      Sure he loved kids. Being around them, making weird faces and voices so they'd laugh. But to actually be a father, to actually raise a child...that wasn't something he could see himself doing.

      He could barely take care of himself, let alone another small human being. So he was fine with not having kids.

      Besides, Richie figured he needed a stable life before starting a family if he did consider the thought of being a father. Although he had a nice apartment and a job he liked, hosting a radio show, his relationship with his girlfriend was...complicated.

      He cared about Marissa, he did. But did he love her? No. And he knew for a fact that she didn't love him either. They fought constantly because she was always sneaking around and random ten dollar bills would go missing from his wallet. But then she'd bat those green eyes at him and they'd fuck and make up.

      Yeah, definitely not a very stable relationship.

      But Richie knew that he wouldn't spend the rest of his life with her. That he knew. Well, until she plopped a positive pregnancy test on his lap and told him that she was pregnant.

      Pregnant.

      That word felt like a bomb.

      He didn't know how he was supposed to feel. Angry for not taking the necessary precautions? Scared because he didn't know if he was ready to be a dad, let alone a good one? Or ecstatic because...holy shit, he was going to be a dad!

      He felt everything in that moment, especially the last two feelings. He was afraid and happy. As for Marissa...she didn't want to have a baby. She didn't carry the natural maternal instincts other women had.

      But something in Richie wanted this. Wanted to meet his future child, to give them everything he didn't have. Wanted to make sure that they knew that they were loved.

      They argued about it for two days, weighing out the pros and cons for keeping the baby. They were young, almost twenty-six. Surely they wouldn't be ready to raise a baby. But Richie had never wanted anything more than this in his entire life. He never saw him as a father but now, that's all he could see himself as.

      The decision was made, they would keep the baby. His baby. He helped out Marissa in every way he could, through the morning sickness and the mood swings, which she already had long before she was pregnant. But he was with her every step of the way.

      But as her stomach became larger and rounder, swelling because of their child growing inside of her, Richie couldn't help but to feel more fear dwell inside his being.

      Was he going to be like his father? Neglectful and uncaring?

      What would Marissa be like? Would she try to be a good mom for their kid? Or would she not care and drink more, just as his own mother had done?

      As time went on, he found himself thinking about his unborn child. Would they look more like him? More like Marissa? God, he hoped the kid wouldn't inherit his shitty eyesight. His kid deserved better than that.

      Then came the thought of names. What should they name the kid? Those thoughts spun around more when they found out that they were having a girl.

      A girl.

      Richie was going to have a daughter.

      A little girl who would run around in dresses and surely make her father play princesses with her.