My Daily writing journal

Entry one

So we have thanksgiving break now and I'm so happy! XD! Ill get to see my mom for the first time since April! My mom and dad have been in a divorce since I was 3, and now in 12....so that's about 9 years. She lives in Delaware with her mom now...because her car broke down so she couldn't get to her job...she went broke. She loves me, I know, but she doesn't take the time to see me. It's really upsetting. I miss her. I just went from a really happy note to a really depressing note...oh gawd... Lets talk about something else like my dead grandmother that died before I was born and my step-grandmother that just got diagnosed with cancer! No? Oh... I'm becoming a teenager now, so I basically sit in my room on phone all day to drown out the pain. Sometimes it's the most joyous of people who go through the most pain. Ill be honest. I don't like life. Don't worry I'm not suicidal...just I don't get it. When we grow up, we're told we can have freedom. But what is that freedom? The freedom to be able to fit into a mold for what we have to do, wear, live... Why can't we just live free like our ancestors once did? I want to SO badly. And what's the deal against gay people?! I mean, what's wrong with it? I'm bisexual, and I know about 80% of the girls I hangout with have girlfriends, trust me i hang out with alot of people. I sometimes just wanna run away and be free...ya know? Deep down inside, we all do dont we? We want to make our own lives, to climb our own mountains, to make out own goals. We're all just robots, programmed to follow what everyone else does. I feel like I'm different. I feel like I don't belong. I feel like there's an error in my programming. Anyway, hope I can write soon...bye.