All of the Stars - Reylo

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight:
Balance

Rey

"Is the droid really going to be good to go to Ahch-To? It might be easier for him to just stay here on the base." Ben really did not know anything. BB-8 was arguably the most capable droid in the whole galaxy. And he thought he wouldn't survive Ahch-To? He had so much to learn.

I sent an almost disgusted look in Ben's direction, causing him to smile softly. Naturally, I had to look away in fear that I'd just return that smile. "BB-8 is coming to Ahch-To." I grunted, adjusting the droid's crooked antenna. "It's my time to have him." I stood up. Poe and I both had a very strong bond with the droid. We both wanted him around, and sometimes we even fought over it. Finn had to organize an agreement between the two of us.

   BB-8 rolled up the ramp on the Millennium Falcon, leaving Ben and I by ourselves. Ever since my talk with Finn, I was often panicked around Ben now. "Hey..." he broke the silence, stepping close beside me. He sipped his hand into mine. "Are you okay?"

   "Er, yes. I'm alright." My heart raced as his fingers interlocked with my own. I pulled my hand away and started to make my way up the ramp to the Falcon before turning back to face him. "Join me."

"Oh so I'm expected to join you after you turned me down on joining the First Order? Seems fair." He cracked a wide smile, clearly proud of his sarcastic comment. Again, humor looked so good on him. I rolled my eyes playfully as he walked up the ramp, slipping his arm around my waist and spinning me delicately. "Let's go get a Kyber Crystal."

•

Ahch-To looked almost exactly the same as how it was before I had left. I looked around, starting to head up the side of a cliff before turning around to find Ben. He was standing on the very edge of the ramp, seemingly afraid to touch the ground her. The history he had with this planet had completely slipped my mind. I went back to him, standing before him. "Ben?" He kept his eyes locked on the ground. "Ben..." He seemed too scared to look up from his feet. I worried about him.

"I can do this." He said in a low, shaky voice. His eyes never broke from his feet. I rested my hand upon his cheek, caressing his skin with my thumb. He finally met my eyes now, and they were filled with fear, guilt and regret. My heart ached instantly and I felt the overwhelming need to fix everything for him in that instant. "Don't let go... please." His voice shook, leaving him clearly vulnerable.

"I'm here." I said in a steady voice. I moved my hand to his arm, ready to help him as if he couldn't walk on his own. "I won't be going anywhere." Before I knew it, Ben slipped his hand into mine, looking to me for reassurance. I nodded and we both stepped off the ramp and onto the island. "If you begin to panic, let me know. We can leave."

   "No, we won't leave." We walked up a hill together as he spoke in a low tone. "You need to find your kyber crystal... Jedi Rey." He used the humor to mask his anxiety. I squeezed his hand before entering one of the huts perched on top of the hill.

I couldn't quite wrap my head around why he was so nervous until I thought of the planet that would make me feel this way. Jakku. All of the memories and experiences would rope me into the life I had once lived. Just like Ben. In retrospect, I'm glad that I had left Jakku. It was hard to phantom all of the things I could have missed. Learning the force, saving the galaxy, working with legends, making a family... saving Ben. It meant something to me that Ben could be so honest about his feelings with me. After everything, he feels like he finally has someone. And it's me. That had value to me.

We moved onto the next one. And the next one. And to the next. There were no signs of any kyber crystals anywhere. I had no idea where to go from here. This was the only place I could imagine there would be any. Once we arrived at the next one, Ben, who was seemingly adjusting, stopped in his tracks. "Hey, what is it?" I rubbed his arm gently as his eyes met mine.

"This one was mine." Oh. I could see the trauma in his eyes, the fear of going back into the place where he had fought his master, his uncle.

"You don't have to go in." I would not force him to do anything against his will. I cared too much for him. I cared more for him than any other person in the galaxy. If I could take away all his fear, all his trauma. It would already be gone by now.

"No, lets go in." We went in together. I looked over at him and tried to reassure him with my expression. I watched the tension in his face melt away, causing me to smile slightly. As I searched for the crystal, my mind wandered to the conversation I had with Finn. I think Finn was right about how I felt. I had never been in love before though, so I wasn't confident on how to go about confessing it. I wasn't sure if I wanted to confess it quite yet. What if it scared him off? Then he'd be gone again.

"Rey." His voice snapped me out of my trance. I looked over at him. Ben had a chest opened up, but I couldn't see what was inside it from my angle. When I stepped up beside him, he hesitantly placed his hand on my lower back. I looked up at him and despite the hesitation, he smiled at me. Of course, I couldn't help but return it. I finally looked down at the chest. There laid two kyber crystals. Yellow and blue. I had never seen a kyber crystal, but they pretty much looked how I imagined them. "What do you think?"

I picked both of them up, inspecting both of them individually. Blue made me smile. Luke had blue. Leia had blue. That's what Ben had now. It was familiar, nostalgic. There was just something about that yellow that I couldn't quite kick. It felt like it called to me. I took them both and slid them into my pocket. I didn't feel like I had to decide right now. And besides, whatever I didn't pick, Finn could have since he was force sensitive. "Let's get out of here, yeah?"

   Ben looked so relieved. I'm sure he was suffering on this planet, but was too kind to make too big of an issue out of it. "Yeah, lets go." The two of us walked back down to the Falcon side by side. It was a quiet walk, but the silence and his presence comforted me. Just being around him brought me a pure blissful feeling. As we walked, I thought about what Finn had said to me about my feelings for Ben. I turned my head to look at him, smiling slightly. When he realized I was looking at him, he smiled. "Yes, Rey?"

   "Oh." I said, smiling as our eyes met. "Nothing." We walked up the ramp of the Falcon, heading to the cockpit. I watched as Ben slid into the pilot's seat. He looked so natural there, just like Han. "Ben..."

   "Rey, I love you." My heart stopped, locking eyes with him as a panicked expression got the best of me. "I can sense how you feel. And I love you too. If you're not ready to say it—"

   I stood, coming closer to him. "Ben." I interrupted before he could go on. "I love you too."