Things I write

3

Would it be easier if we would be able to see each other? Be in each other's presence? Not just in dreams?

It would be easier for me to slap you. It would be easier for me to hug you. You would say your hurtful words to me, face to face.
You would say it with a smirk. You know that the deep wounds you gave me can only be healed by your loving words.

I endure the pain only because I know that love will follow.
The wounds sting, of course, but the warmth of love numbs it.

I can take everything if I get love afterwards. I'll do anything to be touched in the way you touch me, loved in the way you love me.

What we have, or what we not have, it breaks me down. And after I fully broke it'll heal me, so it can break me down all over again.

Some people may call that toxic.
But... Did we ever care about anyone except ourselves?

You were but you weren't. You are but you aren't. You will but you won't.
It's all a dream. No history lays there. Time has never come here.

Dreaming equals pain. Dreaming equals love. Dreaming equals seeing you.
I can't give up on that...

But wouldn't it be easier if I just did give up? What if I let you go? Will you travel to someone else? Would you stay and haunt me?

What if everything we have isn't a dream? What if it's real? What if the real way of escaping is not waking up but falling asleep?

Sucks that I have insomnia then. I can't sleep, I can't escape even if I wanted to.
Even if I wanted to.

Yes I hate you, thank you for loving me.
Yes I love you, thank you for hating me.

It was a pleasure.