He's Online! (Online #1)

098// Sonya's Journal

Sonya's Journal (11-25-18)
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Sonya's journal

06-19-17

Ang hilig mong mag-chat noon. Araw-araw, walang palya (maliban nalang kung may sakit ka o may pinupuntahan kayo). Ako naman 'tong si mababaw, kinikilig agad at unti-unting nahulog sayo. Dapat talaga hindi ko hinayaan ang sarili ko noon.

"Ito ang makabagong panliligaw." Sabi ko sa sarili ko. Chat? Text? Kahit hindi legal ayos lang??

Ano nga bang mapapala ng tagong relasyon? Wala. Dahil hindi matibay ang samahan. Hindi lubos na kilala ang isa't isa. Pero 'di bale, kakalimutan na rin kita. Oras na siguro para ituon ko na yung atensyon ko sa iba. Baka pinagtagpo nga lang tayo.

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11-25-18

Contrary to what I said before, I'm happy that I met him. Even though he broke my heart, I can't deny that he's also the one who made me stronger. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him.

Ilang araw kong pinag-isipan yung mga pinagdaanan ko dahil sa kaniya. Iniisip ko kung gusto ko pa rin bang maging kami o kung nakahinga na ba ako nang maluwag nang sabihin niyang bumitiw na ako. Atleast alam kong hindi na dapat akong umasa. Kaya ko na ulit ipagpatuloy ang buhay ko.

Inamin ko sa kaniya na mahal ko pa siya. Pero pagkatapos no'n, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Parang tuluyan na ring nawawala ang nararamdaman ko sa kaniya kahit hindi ko alam kung bakit at paano. Siguro dahil may closure na talaga. 'Di ako sure.

Inaamin kong marami akong natutunan sa kaniya. He's my first love, afterall. He's the one who taught me many things. He taught me that I should not keep secrets from my family and friends because I'm the only one who will be hurt if I fail. He also taught me the idea of first love.

I realized that I changed a lot because of him. I am more mature now. I'm new to love that time, that's why I did a lot of foolish stuff. Now, I am familiarized with heartbreak. I also realized that love is no joke.

At first, I thought that he would come back to me, but until now, he's trying to push me away from him. That's when I decided to stop.

After this, I'll make sure not to forget him, but keep all the lessons he taught me and made me realize.

It's been a year and I've got nothing left to cry.

I didn't notice that I got used to continuing my life without him, not until now.

Bay Max is right. I am blinded with my memories. I just miss the feeling when I'm with him. Happiness, love, and care.

Thank you, Bryan Dy, I can now continue my life with no regrets. Thank you for all the memories.

Now, I can finally start over again without a heavy a heart.

It's fate that we met, but we were also bound to separate.

But you know what? There's something I'm curious about...

Sino kaya si Bay Max at bakit niya ako naisipang tulungan?

-Sonya Marie Molina