Lie Again

Lie Again
one-shot

- - -

"How's your school?" tanong saakin ni Mommy habang nasa hapag kami.

"Fine." sagot ko and not meeting her gaze.

"Tumingin ka kapag kinakausap ka, don't you have manners Cleo?" Napaangat naman ako ng tingin sakanya.

"Sorry, Mom."

"Huwag kang bastos, Cleo. I raised you right. You have to be perfect." she said and continue eating.

I sigh.

But Mom, I am not perfect. Nobody is perfect.

Tinuloy ko nalang ang pagkain ko and did not speak again until I finished eating.

Mom didn't know that I skipped my Math class just because I was having a mental breakdown. Nasa-cr lang ako throughout the class hour because I wasn't in my best state kanina. I disappointed her again yesterday just because I got 91 on my Science Class. She wanted me to be a lawyer and I dislike the idea, but I don't have any courage to fight for my rights...and I am pretty sure hindi ako mananalo when it comes to Mom. What she wants, what she gets.

I am stucked again on my room, studying. I hate going to college. I hate school. I hate studying. I hate taking this course. But as I'd said, I cannot just say no to Mom. She will just going to punish me, who knows what will happen to me aside from hitting. Geez.

"Girl, why so serious? It's just a simple quiz." my friend said to me.

"I need yo perfect this even though this is just a simple quiz." i said firmly.

"You're too focused on your studies that you forgot how to enjoy life. Loosen up, girl! 'Wag kang masyadong babad sa pag-aaral." she said.

"What have you done, Cleo? You failed and disappointed me again!" my Mom shouted.

"I-I'm sorry, Mom--" magsasalita na sana ako nang bigla niya akong sinampal.

This isn't the first time na pinagbuhatan niya ako ng kamay. Actually, I am used to this, but it still hurts.

"Silence! I don't want to hear your useless reason! Lumalandi ka na ba kaya 88 ang score mo sa Math? I didn't raised you like that, Cleo! Mahiya ka naman, Jusko!"

Her words are like daggers that are stabbed right unto my heart.

"Cleo, birthday ni Peirce, may celebration daw sakanila mamayang gabi...punta ka ah? Wala namang class bukas." anyaya nila saakin.

"Sorry, Girls, but I need to study kasi..." panghihingi ko nang dispensa.

"Huh? Hindi ba't kakatapos lang ng Exams natin? Jusko, Girl! Mag-unwind ka naman paminsan-minsan!"

"Pasensya na talaga...but I really can't."

"Ano pangaba? Haiyst. Basta, next time sumama ka na ha?"

"Yes, promise!"

"Cleo, I told your dad about your failing grades. He's very disappointed with you. He wanted to talk to you later."

"Yes, Mom."

How can I tell them that I have a mental health problem and they are not helping me? They gave too much pressure to me and stressing me to be perfect, to do this and to do that. Nakakainis kasi hindi ko man magawang sabihin sakanila because I am afraid they won't believe me. Ganyan naman sila, hindi ba?