"stop trying"

In the begining...

I saw darkness as my alarmed screamed down my ear, just shouting at me to wake up for another shit day at school. My head just wasnt with it today, I was sat there all night just scrolling through random pages on Instagram seeing if I could find any gossip but no again wasted my sleeping time. Ugh. 6 hours sleep and I still feel like a zombie apocalypse rising from the dead. I look at my phone and its 7:00am, I was really hoping It could have been earlier so i could have another 20 minutes in my pointless imagination that my head had planned for me.

I opened my eyes had a blazing light coming from my window. Great. I eventually dragged my self out the pit of mine and dragged my feet dramatically across the hall and down the stairs to see a lovely sight of my mother making my breakfast and lunch to snack through the day with. Thanks mum. However, I turned around to see a man walking down the stairs, just in his boxers and I span aggressively towards my mother. "Who the fuck is that" I grunted. He was a short, bald looking man with nothing but a hairy body n' face. My mum eventually replied with the comment of "oh you haven't met him yet". That's when my life changed... only in the beginning.

3:00pm stuck. Schools nearly over, I'm not quiet sure if I wanted to return home at that  moment in time but I tried to wash the morning from my head, trying to relax my self from anymore happening that day but it became confusing to my head now look back on it. But it is what is it right? I had to be happy for her since the past she had right?. "Amber? Amber are you day dreaming again?" The teacher snapped at me, not like it was the first time I've done it before. "Yes sir. I apologise" I answered positively back towards him. "God girls these days aye?" He muttered under his worn out voice. I was always up in my mind just thinking about what might happen in the future or just in a world not full of humanity. I'm probably not the only one who thinks that? Anyway, time flew by to 3:30pm and school was finally out. No more shitty school work for that next 6 weeks. Time for me to switch to my hibernation mode. Well I mean, I tried.

I got eventually got home. But no one here but me. I wasnt concerned at that moment in time. I was just happy to have the house to my self for once. 4:25pm came and I heard a car park up on the drive. That's when I knew where shes been. She came toddling in in some weird type of way and then a man,the same man!, followed in behind her. I was shaking. My heart was skipping beats in anger. So I just left the room because I couldnt face the look of his grim face. "Where you going love?" My mum softly said. She got my reply in silence. I stormed up the stairs only to have heard fake laughter from my mother, is this really the reality that has been wanting to slap me in the face. Or is someone just trying to be a bitch? I just managed to roll my eyes at it, letting it flow over my head. It was 5:45pm came to my attention and I managed to roll my self out of my room only to see darkness downstairs. I felt one eyebrow raise and a confusion face took over me. Myself just felt isolated. But I guess I thought it was a one off; oh no I was totally wrong.

The next morning came.
I opened my beady eyes as wide as a could and still no movement happened. It was so quiet, it defended my ears. I got curious so I opened my door to only see natural light beaming through the windows. Blinds were still open from the day before but still no sign of my mum. I wanted to kill that man. Is it weird to think, a man that has entered your life in 0.5 seconds and take the closest person you had away from you so quickly?. Yeah I could relate. So to take my mind off everything, I texted a few friends to hang out; of course not explaining anything because you know, private bubble right. Amileia came over to hang out and stuff our faces in delicious pizza. A car door shut. It was my mum n her "boyfriend", she didn't look her best at all, her hair was not brushed at all, makeup down her face, and still in yesterday clothes. I told amileia to stay in the living room while I went to check what was going on. it was nothing I want to be hearing.