So yea, its me. The stupid old me. I love to fool around, annoy people and have fun all the time. But as the phrase says "The happiest person are actually the most saddest and depressed." Well i think its like pointing it to me. I hate to express my feelings to people actually. Even my to my friends. I only love to express my pain to my sister, but she passed away last year so I dont have anyone now. Pain, i hate pain. I fucking hate it. I know a friend that knows pain too. She's the only person i can trust and consider like a real sister. But still even her, cant replace my beloved sister. Thank you Fateen haha. I have tons of friends that i can have fun with all the time. Each and everyone of them means a lot to me. I love all of em and I swear I wont let anybody hurt them. I love skateboarding, its so precious to me. Its the only thing i can do to entertain myself. On 12th of July 2014, a girl texted me on whatsapp and asked about skateboard equipments. I call her Nina. She's a very cute girl. At the beginning, I had no feelings towards her. Non. But she started to talk to me more and more and more. We get closer day by day then. She calls me her big bro and so I called her my lil sista. We kept on talking everyday, till one point I actually fell for her. I didnt even tell her. We decided to go to a cheerleading competition together. That was the first time I met her. She's such a cutie. When we were watching the comp, I accidently fell asleep on her shoulder with her hair all around my face. It smells so fucking nice that I can continue sleeping for hours. She was the first girl I had held hands with. The first i hugged with. She started to use love emojis when we were texting, that made me fell for her even badly. Because of her, I decided to stop smoking. She told me that if i stopped till 27th of September she will give me a suprise. But out of the blue, she left me 10 days before the due date. I kept my words, I still didnt smoke till then. On the 27th, she's still wasnt there. She left me like a motherfucker. She was the one who asked me out. She was the one who started all the compliments. She was the one that gave me cute nicknames. But all those are fucking gone into a trash can. Damn i will never forget every single moment that we had. I'll miss the smell of her hair. Everything was such a waste. I wonder what was the reason that made her leave me. I lost my sister, now i lost her. I told her that my sister wasn't there for me on my birthday and she said she promises that she'll be there on my birthday as a lil sista. Not even close to my birthday she already left me. Now i realised that she is not worth it. Motherfuckin bitch. I have many friends that i love and care. It was hard to move on at first but now I succeed it. But still, I somehow miss coming back from school turning on my phone and reading the text she left before she goes to school. All of it is gone. So basically thats how my life is now. Im living happily with my mom, my dad, my family, my friends and my skateboard. Till next time.
