Miss Missing You - ImmortalAnex

Don't Panic. No, not yet. (1)

3 months, two weeks and five days. That's how long it's been since they last spoke. He kind of got the hint after Aleks stopped replying but that doesnt stop him checking his phone and every other social media site that he's on for a reply, for a message, for anything. Even if Aleks was going to just yell at him, tear him down, admit it was all a lie, mock him, anything. Anything, at this point would be better than the sickening, terrifying silence. Just some sort of acknowledgement, an answer to the one fucking question that has been eating him away for so long.

Why?

3 months, two weeks and five days. Not that Kevin's counting. He pretends he isn't, anyway. To anyone else, he's not. To anyone else, he's over Aleks. He doesn't care, and he never really did. He's totally fine and carefree.

Lies, lies, lies.

His phone buzzes and he all but jumps to see who it is. Of course, it's not Aleks. It's never Aleks. It's nothing interesting, either. A stupid reminder about the stupid camp that his stupid parents are making his stupid self go to. The same camp he met Aleks at two years ago. The same camp Aleks is going to be at this year. The very idea makes Kevin feel sick to his stomach, and he can't pinpoint exactly why.

What if all his old friends pick sides and decide to desert him to stick with Aleks? Is he just nervous about seeing Aleks again? Is Aleks going to hate him? Make fun of him? Pull out his heart again and throw it on the ground where everyone can see him bleed? Is Aleks going to tell everyone just how much Kevin loved and still loves him?

And the worst of all: What if Aleks says he wants Kevin back? That it was all a mistake and he wanted to badly to apologise but he was so scared Kevin would hate him. . . That would destroy Kevin, because it would be exactly what he'd want to hear. That Aleks still cared about him and wanted him back. That he wanted to fix things so that they could be together again.

Something akin to fear takes over and Kevin wants nothing more than to curl up in bed under his blankets and never move again. But no. No, he can't do that. His parents never knew about Aleks, and he can't tell them. Who knows what they'd do to him. He didn't think it would be anything good.

Kevin sighs, burying his face in his hands. He sits up and looks around his room. He's mostly packed for his two weeks away, just a couple more things he has got to collect. He gets out of bed. He deicdes he has to start practising his mask. If Aleks is coming back, he has to be ready.

Kevin is determined not to be the one on his knees begging, not this time. He's going to be the one standing on top of the world while Aleks cries and pleads and begs for the forgiveness that Kevin will never give him. He will be the fire and the rage that he has been hiding and maybe everyone will know the truth but at least they will see Aleks for the monster that he is in Kevin's eyes. And they will watch him burn, burn the way Kevin has been burning for three months, two weeks and five days.

It's midnight.

Three months, two weeks and six days.

The time in which Aleks hasn't spoken to him has been time for all the love he had to leave his heart, and now he doesn't know what he has left. When he met Aleks, and Aleks seemed to see the spark they had, Kevin felt his walls collapsing slowly but surely. He was cautious at first but it didn't take long for Aleks to "prove" himself. And now, Kevin is a shell of who he was because all his defenses are gone and he has nothing to fight back with because the fight he had in him disappeared with Aleks.

But he's about to get it back.

And it isn't going to be pretty.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

there will be more parts, and the plot is a lot easier to decide on since this has uh, basically all happened. will be updating soon, i suppose.