Danny Gonzalez is forced by his parents to go Camp Unplug. Attending with his best friend Kurtis Connor, they immediately click with their bunkmate Drew Gooden. But this cruddy summer camp has some blaring issues: no electronics; stupid boy scout ou...
Danny's POV "That's literally what escapism means, dude." Kurtis says over the phone. Kurtis is my best bro, and surprisedly an exceptional clay pigeon shooter. Those are two of the best titles I could ever give someone. "So playing Pokémon Emerald for nine hours straight is escapism? No way! I'm only been mentally avoiding going to Camp Unplug next week by escaping reality...Ah I see your point." And then the lights dimmer, spotlight hitting my face. I just opened the floodgates of my stream of consciousness. Or as I like to call him, Greg. But Greg is everything, and everyone. Matter, wealth, ideas, paradoxes, a YouTube subscription, anything you can possibly imagine. I won't even have YouTube at Camp Unplug. Ugh. Even the stupid name makes my skin crawl. Plus it's buttfuck nowhere in Wisconsin. I'm convinced Wisconsin isn't even a real place! My conspiracy is it's a fake state used for government propaganda, or something like that. I'm really hanging onto my last braincell for dear life. My dilemma: I had no expectations and I'm still disappointed. "Danny? Oh Jesus Christ you're inner monologuing again aren't you?" "I continue to internally monologue." "Okay, I definitely just heard you say you're going to continue to internally monologue." Why did my parents force me to do this? They don't want me to spend 3 months cooped up inside my room, playing video games all night? Well, I have ever been so offended by something I one hundred percent agree with. And yes, I am turning 18 this June. But being guilt tripped by my parents is an effective way for me to do something. "You know I can still hear your breathing, and mumbles on the phone right? You can just talk to me. You do know you're still on the phone right?" "Hold that thought Kurtis. I'm talking to someone very important." "More important than a guy with two thumbs and just scored some weed?" "Are you pointing to yourself?" "Yes." "Well, I am kind of busy. I'm about to beat this gym leader into a bloody puddle, and grind his bones into dust." "Whoa Jesus Christ dude, overly violent for Pokémon." He responds sounding slightly amused, and slightly terrified. "Actually what's overly violent is the franchise cannoned, or canno-ibalized Pokémon. They mentioned eating Pokémon before. If you didn't catch my word play." "That's so fucked! Not the word play, that was nice. But my childhood is ruined! I'm sorry to disturb your ass kicking, and animal abuse. I was just hoping we could see each other. I have some good news." He said in that damned sweet Kurtis voice. He could convince me to rob a bank store in that tone. That's why it's so menacing underneath the melodic sound. Fuck, shit. I haven't showered since Tuesday. "Good news? I'm intrigued. Lemme get ready though." "Hells yeah! You wanna smoke at the park?" "Of course. Is that not the good news?" I grin. "Ha. That's only part of it. Just text me when you're ready." "Okay, love you." "Love you too." Kurtis lightly laughs. I finally shower and change into a burnt orange sweatshirt, and light wash boyfriend jeans.
danny: im ready <33 kurtis: great :-D i'm omw soon danny:
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kurtis: holy shit, i have never related harder to an image before danny: you say that to like every meme kurtis: holy shit, i have never related harder to a message before danny: wow you really just got gotted me kurtis: more like i got gotted ur nose haha got em 👃 danny: 👁 👁 💪💋🍆✊💦got em 🥕👌 🦶🦵 kurtis: not only am i terrified of that abomination, but my own well-being has been jeopardized. also why are you pinching a carrot??? danny: (_)_):::D~baby carrot dick~~~ kurtis: i have to use tweezers 😔 also kurt man drive now danny: see u soon baby dick
