Love Me Badly

unexplainable | nineteen

Daydreaming into the blankness of her paper, Kelliana adds some decoration to it by scribbling with her pen, her chin leaning on the palm of her hand, her elbow propped up on the wooden table.

"I still don't know what color to wear", Gina huffs aloud as she sits across her best friend in the school library during their free period, aimlessly scrolling through her phone, her long acrylics heard distinctly tapping against the screen.

"Why don't you just find a dress you like no matter what color", Kelliana lazily replies, the topic of prom not triggering the excitement in her.

"Because the color is what matters more than the style of the dress itself. I just can't find one that suits me!"

Kelliana shrugs as she mindlessly continues to scribble, softly biting her bottom lip as she was being pulled in by her thoughts.

Gina was quick to catch on to her lack of participation in the conversation about prom and puts down her phone, gazing at the hot-headed, loud bestfriend that was all of a sudden being quiet. "Hey, what's up with you?"

Kelliana stops and briefly frowns, not realizing that she was acting differently that Gina even had picked up on it. She glances up at her bestfriend who was expectantly watching her, waiting for an answer. Kelliana does a quick look around before settling on telling Gina the reason why she's been quiet.

"Uriah", she lowly says to her. Gina raises her eyebrow at her and purses her lip.

"Uriah? What did he do this time?"

Kelliana puts her things down on the table as she leans forward, both elbows propped up as she rubs her temples in thought and slight frustration, her eyes fluttering closed.

"He came to my house drunk last night."

"What the hell? What did he do? Omg, don't tell me you two-"

"No", she quickly cuts her off, stopping her from continuing to say what she thought they did last night. "No... he said he was having a rough night and so we just talked."

"Hmm... okay, so why are you in such a mood?"

Kelliana stops rubbing her temples and closes her books, know well enough she wasn't going to continue doing any classwork .

"I don't know. There was something different about him. It was like he was going through something at home."

Gina scoffs, "aren't we all?"

Kelliana softly glares at her friend, "Gina."

"Look, I know we all have our problems, we all deal with them in some way. So, why is it that his problems are bothering you which is what I'm confused about", she begins to whisper-yell at her and Kelliana was becoming agitated with the way she's speaking to her.

"I don't know, okay? I just think of him as a friend now", she answers her with a slight uncertainty to it, not even fully believing that last part herself.

"That's bullshit. You hate him."

"I don't hate him."

"You always talked trash about him before, what changed your mind?"

Kelliana was quiet for awhile, thinking her question through. Gina was waiting for her reply and notices how her behavior had changed drastically to one of a shy, sheltered girl. It was like she was nervous but she continues to answer her, taking her time.

"When we were talking last night... his eyes were different. They almost looked... soulless. As if he was there but at the same time he wasn't. He reminded me-", she stops for a moment but Gina doesn't say anything to pressure her as she feels how vulnerable Kelliana was right now.