"Distance Soulmates~"

"No String Attached"

October 15th, 2004. 

I was born into this world of hell. As a girl. And without a soulmate of my own to marry once I am of age. My parents thought I was the best little girl they had in their life, dressing me up in pink and purple. Brushing out my long hair. Until I came out as Transgender. Then they slowly disowned me as theirs. I didn't care too much, I still had my dad who was more excepting them my mother is. She said she'd never accepted me for me. I was born a girl. And had to be a girl in this life if  I wanted to survive under her roof and her rules. 

Everyone once they get into the first grade...

They get a red string...connecting them to their soulmate. Some find theirs as soon as they find out, never letting them go staying with each other forever until they get old enough to get married. Some ignore them until their ready for them, wanting to grow up enjoying there childhood. But...

I never got, or had my string in the beginning as everyone else did...

Lots of the other kids say I was soulless...unloveable 

I could never find someone to love me.

"YOUR WORTHLESS~!"

"No one will ever love you!"

"You're going to die alone" 

My ears were ringing...they kept ringing and ringing. It hurt so badly I wanted it to just stop...I wanted them to just leave me alone! I wanted their voices just to leave my head!  To leave me at peace! So I can sleep at night for once without crying myself losing sleeping wondering why I am still alive in this world that I hate so so very MUCH! 

Until one day...

I got a message...that changed my life...

For the best

_____________________________________________

I walked around my room bored out of my mind, then I got the idea to sit down and do some drawings of my feelings making them into animals and demons to stop my thoughts from running to try and kill me from the inside. 

"Heh...I should post these online. Maybe I ain't that useless in this world. No, I'm useless...but maybe I can try and make someone's day with this crappy artwork"

I then post my art online creating a huge art account, well not as huge as I have wished for....but no one seemed to care much anyway about it. Since everyone at school knew I had no string nor soulmate. I only had around 3 followers. 

My dad being one of them. 

I shut my laptop and layed down in my bed staring at the ceiling...and look at my hand where I'm supposed to have a string.

"Still no red string...to connect me...Am I really gonna be alone...? Hehe, I guess everyone was right in the first grade. There is no hope for me... I'm never gonna be loved by someone. I guess I can kiss goodbye my chance at marriage. Making my parents hate me even more, guess their hope can go into my siblings"

I got up and made my way downstairs going into the kitchen to grab some water but nothing to eat, not seeing anything to good.

"Day...3 of no eating...I've lost around 5 pounds. I'm not even hungry, hm. Welp to bad not eating anyways. Even if it kills me."

I sigh at myself and walk back up to my room and open up my laptop as I sat in my chair shifting in it to be comfortable pulling my blanket onto my lap being cold.

And I start writing out my thoughts and my health for my doctors, as I mumble under my breath...

"I'm so fat...I'm not beautiful...I'm so ugly...I'm never gonna look like a boy. I'm trapped in this body forever!"

I slam my fists into my desk hard as I tear up. I hated my body so very very much. It drove me crazy with how much I hated it with all of my heart. 

Then I  got a comment on my art post. Taking my attention away from my notes. That I needed to finish before the end of the night. 

"Just give up already~"

"You suck!"

"Worthless~ you don't even have a string!"

Why...why me. Why did they have to pick on me? Just to take their pain away...seeing someone else suffer from more pain they cause onto a single person. 

*Ding*

"Huh? Another comment..? No! A message...that's odd. No one ever messages me. "

"Hey! Your art is so amazing! You're so talented I can't wait to see more posts of thems you're so inspiring to me! I wish I was as talented as you, maybe you can teach me one day how to me as amazing and creative as you.  And if you need anything my messages are always open to help you through any problem ever! Don't listen to those haters. They don't understand us...

I have No string as well, hehe. And you don't have to hide who you are. Stand out in the crowd, not in. Everyone is special in their own way. 

Love, Gabe, your local trans~"

My heart skipped a beat as I gasped for air...

There was someone out there...

Like me...? But that was impossible. Unless...

He was my soulmate and we didn't know about it. 

Maybe this was a sign that there is still hope for me in this world. And Gabe is the one I need to help me finish my path of life. 

-Kyler Lynn

A/N Until then! <3 Hi guys!

This is Ky and I will be updating all of the chapters to make them longer and better for all of you! I hate writing short little updates, but at least I get them out! I hope you enjoy them being longer! My goal is to make one over 3000 words! I know that's not gonna happen but I believe in myself. It's hard enough to even write 1000 words update at that!

 Thank you for reading! I greatly enjoy it! 

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