My Life In Pieces

Foreword
This book is a product of boredom and lack of purpose. It is a purposeless book. One that might not enable you to follow your desired life trajectories. I wrote it when I had nothing to do. There was no creativity in this doing. Just thumping of fingers on a tired keyboard during my dark days..\
This book does not embody the spirit of true writing, which is being able to inform and influence. Therefore, do not have any expectations. Just go with the flow, if you cannot manage, toss it in the bin.\
I wrote the book as a way of dealing with my depression, having fallen into a debt of 0.52m shillings during a time when I had no income source. I entertained thoughts of suicide, and murder, and many others that drove me crazy. Writing was the only way to get out of my damned mind.\
It has a long, boring prelude of narrations that have zero juice. Near the end, action begins, and turns into chaos before it enters life of self-accrued wisdom. The ending is sad. But what is a book if the ending is not sad?\
Be advised that there is use of strong lingo as the book advances.\
The editing is not crisp. If you come across grammatical errors, cut me some slack, it gets better with time.\
This is about my life, a window to know the person I am because I believe what you know about me might not be true and that you may not know me at all. I understand that there are things you\'92ll read and say, shit!, this sounds unreal. It is because that shit is untrue.\
I know you\'92ll feel like I am whining a lot about life in this book. It is because whining is my birthright. I whine about everything, about life, people, situations, government, and all that. I am a whiner. I whine because things aren\'92t they way they should be.\
As you\'92ll discover, I have a multitude of theories about things, people and life generally. You might not like what I say about people, so read carefully but choose what to believe. Don\'92t take anything personally, I\'92m just selling my grief to the world in the hope that someone else out there going through the same ordeal will realize that there are many of us having it tough. There is also a lot for others to learn from my experiences.\

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\f1\b\fs28 \cf2 Acknowledgement\

\f2\b0\fs24 \cf2 I want to thank all those who have always believed in me, the ones who have always found my material worth reading. I have written this book for you. Yes, you who have been poking me to update my blog weekly. You\'92re my strength. This fucked up book is courtesy of your poking.\
May it be of importance to you even if I feel it might not be. May it comfort you who are going through trouble. May it bring to light the meaning of life, and help you become a better person.\
WARNING!\
Chapter two is full of darkness. It is a fantasy, pure work of fiction. The places are real; the events are fabricated. At no time have I worked for/with the government or whoever the book purports me to have worked with or for. I have been to those places for other reasons.\
I have borrowed ideas and scenes from movies and books to enhance my material. I haven\'92t killed a person, at least not consciously. In my dreams, however, I have killed more people than you can think of.\
Special thanks to everyone who has supported me in one way or another. This one is for you. Cheers!\
Yours truly, Mzangila Snr.\

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\f1\b\fs28 \cf2 CHAPTER 1 Childhood\

\f2\b0\fs24 \cf2 My mother made her own path to the unknown worlds in 1998. She battled breast cancer until it won. By the time of her demise, she was deaf, blind and dumb. I want you to picture that. One day she is okay, then another day she can\'92t hear anything. A few months later, she cannot talk or hear. Then one day, she can no longer see. That is how she died, a heart rendering death.\
It is here that my story begins.\
I always believed that my happiness was reserved for me in a trunk somewhere, so that when I grow up I could access it like some inheritance entitled to me. This is because my childhood was that of an adult. I grew up and behaved like an adult while I was a child. Several things that I\'92ll mention later stole my childhood from me.\
The advantage of growing up like this is that you become wise earlier than your fellow age mates. You are always ahead of them in terms of maturity.\
Oddly, you appear older than your age. When you look older than your age, people think of you differently. You don\'92t get to enjoy time with fellow age mates because they think you\'92re older. This forces you to interact with people older than you. People older than you are a step ahead of you in life so they fail to understand why you are not. To admit that I am a misfit is to say the truth. I don\'92t belong. Not belonging has its shortcomings, one being that it makes you lonely and depressed.\
The death of my mother took with it my happiness. My two elder siblings left home almost immediately after her death. My younger sister was around three. Life carved me out to become the mother of the home- cooking, milking, doing all the house chores and generally becoming the homemaker. When you assume such roles at a young age, it trains you to face life the hard way. It also deprives you the opportunity to enjoy your childhood. Roles tie you down; life gets occupied executing responsibilities bigger than you and sometimes getting hurt in the process. You become focused on bigger details and you miss the small ones, like being able to smile and laugh. When you grow up without knowing laughter or bliss, you tend to age faster than others, and your face will show it. Missing such small details inconsequentially steals your childhood fun. You grow up not knowing how to handle young ones or how to care for them when left with them. You don\'92t know what makes them tick or what games that children play. The best you can do is to rock them to sleep, because then, you can have your own quiet time as that is what you mostly identify with- silence.\