Fight or Flight | Sanders Sides | Book 1: Anxiety | Analogical

Chapter 1: Bury the Hurt

Why do they hate me so much?

It was a thought that swirled around in Anxiety's head. Day after day the greeting he was given was always "What are you doing here?" As if he weren't a part of Thomas. As if he were just a disease. Anxiety sighed as he lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts floated around in his mind, mostly negative ones. They flew around like wasps inside his head, stinging him over and over again.

"Who am I kidding, I am a disease." He said to himself. "Maybe I should just take a nap..." He rolled over and laid his head on his arms, thoughts still going everywhere. He didn't know why he tried to sleep, he knew he wouldn't be able to anyway. He sighed, literally rolled out of bed and hit the floor with a thud. Just then, Anxiety heard a knock at his door.

"Anxiety, kiddo?" The soft voice of Patton called through the door. Anxiety stood up and opened the door just a smidge. He did care for Patton, but all he wanted right now was to be left alone.

"Yeah, Pat? What did you need?" Anxiety looked at Patton through the crack of the door, and saw the moral side looked a little worried.

"Thomas just seems a little... overly anxious? I was wondering if..." He trailed off, waiting for Anxiety's response.

"I... don't know Pat... I don't think I'm doing anything..." Anxiety shrugged, now worried for his host. Despite what others may think, he was quite fond of Thomas and just wanted the best for him.

"Are you sure, kiddo?" Patton adjusted his cardigan. Anxiety just nodded. "Okay then. Well, dinner is gonna be ready in a bit if you want to come down." Patton smiled and walked back down the hall. Anxiety shut the door and walked over to his nightstand. He grabbed his headphones, plugged them into his phone and pressed play on whatever song was there. Despite himself, he started singing along.

"Somedays... things just take... way too much of my energy. I look up and the room's spinning..." Anxiety stared at his wall as he continued. "You take... my cares away... I can so overcomplicate. People tell me to medicate." He stood up and walked over to his door, still singing as he opened it. "Feel my blood running, swear the sky's falling! How do I know if this shit's fabricated?" He wasn't paying attention and bumped straight into Logan, who was right outside his door.

"Ow!" Logan had dropped the heavy textbook he was carrying on his foot. Anxiety quickly took off his headphones, putting them around his neck.

"Oh! I'm sorry Lo! I wasn't looking where I was go-" As he was reaching for the textbook to pick it up for Logan, he was cut off.

"Don't worry about it, Anxiety. I just couldn't help but hear your singing and had stopped to listen. My apologies if that was intruding on your privacy, but you have quite a nice voice." Anxiety quickly shoved the textbook back into Logan's arms, his face reddening

"What...ever..." He stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets and walked downstairs with Logan to eat dinner. Patton smiled at the both of them as they came down the stairs.

"Heya, kiddos!" He said cheerfully. He was pulling something out of the oven.

"Salutations, Patton." Logan said, taking his seat at the table.

"Hey, Pat." Anxiety said quietly. Roman was already sitting at the table and looked up when Anxiety took his seat.

"What is he doing here?" Roman said scathingly. Even though Anxiety would never let it show, that stung. He buried the pain deep down where it couldn't be found by anybody but himself. He would just grovel in it later. He shrunk down in his seat, trying to become invisible.

"Roman, that was unnecessarily harsh." Logan said from behind his textbook.

"Why are you sticking up for him?!" Roman half shouted. He looked down at the table to avoid Patton's disapproving stare and quietly mumbled something. Anxiety heard him just fine, but he thought the others should hear it too. He stood up, his chair falling to the ground.

"What was that, Roman? I'm sorry that I coudn't hear you over your huge ego, but let me try to get this through that big head of yours: I get it, you don't want me here. I'm here though. There's not anything any of us can do about it, so you're gonna have to deal with it!" Anxiety shouted, hitting his hands on the table as he leaned across it to get in Roman's face.

"Alright, you want me to come out and say it? Then I'll say it." Roman stared Anxiety down before saying "No one wants you here, so you should just leave! That would solve everyone's issues!" Anxiety just smiled to cover the hurt.

"Heh, well maybe I'll do just that!" He replied darkly, then he sank out despite Logan and Patton's protests.

*                   *                   *                     

Logan stood outside Anxiety's door with a plate of the casserole Patton made. He was debating on whether or not to knock and check on him. Whenever Anxiety got like this, it was always a risky game to try and talk with him. After standing outside of Anxiety's room for a good thirty minutes, he decided to knock.

"Anxiety?" Logan questioned, and then waited for a response. When there was none, he knocked again. "Anxiety? Are you in there?"  There still was no response. Logan reached for the doorknob, hesitant about going inside. Despite himself, he twisted the knob and slowly opened the door, peeking into the dark room. He couldn't make out much, but he did see a small lump under the covers on Anxiety's bed. Walking over, he pulled the covers back from what he assumed was Anxiety.

"What are you doing in here?" Anxiety hissed at him. Logan stepped back a bit.

"I just decided to come check on you after you sank out earlier." He responded, holding out the plate of food. "And to give you a plate of the casserole Patton made." Anxiety hesitantly grabbed the plate of food.

"Thanks, Lo." He said quietly. Logan ajusted his glasses.

"Don't mention it. And, on behalf of earlier, I just want you to know that Patton gave Roman a good talking-to." Anxiety smiled a bit.

"I guess he deserves it, doesn't he?" Logan nodded.

"You are quite right. Well, see you later Anxiety." Logan then left the darker side to eat his food.

Heya guys! So I've been having a creative streak and decided to write a Sanders Sides series! This is the first book. There will be 5 other books (Roman, Patton, Logan, Deceit and Remus) This book takes place pre-accepting anxiety, so Deceit and Remus aren't in this one. And yes, this is Analogical and Royality don't come at me for it. Anyways, see you in the next chapter!
-Cambree