The End → f.s

guitarist irwie.

Fans?

I made a mocking laugh.

Because she's fanning such a nation-embarrassment band, I mean she was joking wasn't it?

"I love you and your band" she stated. "I know that your band is already over but you are still in my heart"

"I also know that the whole band are in such a mess, I cry so hard when Calum's committed suicide"

I cringed at the suicide part. She's not permitted to say that. Never.

Ever.

"I know you're in such a mess too right now, you're not okay and I want to help you. I want you to be okay" she mutters. "Ashton"

I want to scream at her because she was out of her silly fucking mind. Of course I'm not okay of course I'm in a big mess what the fuck man?!

Can you believe that my freaking brothers are now gone, my siblings are questioning my caring for them, my siblings!

Harry and Lauren both my whole wide world they're disappointed at me!!!

And the worst part is my mother doesn't even want to look at me anymore! Any-fucking-more!

My own mother, who I love the most, who's the reason I'm still trying to be alive, who'll never judge me when the whole world do.

And now? She's disgust with me. Looking at me with dirty look like I was some sort of ugly stranger.

Do this girl have mind?

I WILL NEVER BE OKAY!!!!

She stares at me, her eyes are puffy and red, I know she have cried before she arrived here.

"Ashton.." She croaks. "I'm not okay too"

"I'm broken too. Seeing my favorite persons in the world broken, gone, missing one by one. Seeing one of them is suicidal and already gone, seeing one of them have mental problem and he never talk to us and seeing one of them committed the most horrible sin ever" she's crying, right before my eyes, her eyes are soaking with tears and she's rambling incoherent words.

I don't know what to do. She literally cries in front of me, I'm not Calum I never hug anyone willingly like this. I should stop mentioning Calum.

But I will never stop. You can't forget your partner, even if you try, you won't.

She sobs, her snot's coming out her nose, her lips are trembling. Basically she's also a mess like me.

And then I saw her arms.

I know.

She's broken like me.