Worlds Most Terrible Fan Fictions

Spongebella Squareskirt Tenticles?..... OH GOD NO! NO NO NO NO!!!!

Authors Note: NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I LOVE THIS CARTOON WHYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Go on, read it! I dare you, I dare you ALL to read it! If you make it through to the very very end I'll eat a kitten! IT'S.... IT'S JUST...... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Squidward's High School Reunion

By Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

A Spongebob Squarepant's Fanfic

Disclaimer: Owned by United Plankton Pictures and Nickelodeon Studios. I own nothing. Nothing I tell you! No money was made from this fic.

Rating: PG13 for some language and sexual situations

Summary: Squidward wants to impress his old high school cohorts at his reunion. How can Spongebob help? Slightly slashy, a bit more so at the end! Squid angst!

(Author's note: My first Spongebob fic! Yes, beware, there be slash beyond, me maity, ar-r-r-r-r! Not a lot, mind you, but--- You may blame my sick and demented friend Desensitized for implanting the Squidward/Spongebob seed in my sick and demented brain. So read on, if you dare! I tried to keep most of it sounding like a typical episode. I took some liberties with Squidward's past.)

Spongebob opened his mail with excited fervor. He wasn't expecting anything, he just always opened his mail like it was Christmas morning.

"Oh boy! My invitation to my high school reunion!" He held the invitation out, barely containing his joy. "Funny thing since I never went to high school." He glanced at the name on the invitation, "Funny thing how they have Squidward's name in place of my name there."

He hummed a happy tune as he jauntily strode over to his favorite neighbor's house and knocked on the door. He kept on knocking as he stared at the letter.

Squidward stomped to his door, his mood incessantly sour. He already knew who he would find at his door and his mood darkened. Why couldn't that moron ever take a hint and just leave him alone? He opened the door and almost got clonked in the head by Spongebob's continuous knocking.

"Hey, Barnacle Brain, I'm right here! Now go away!"

"Oh, hey, Squidward! Guess what? I got invited to your high school reunion! Cool, huh?" The sponge gushed and shoved the invitation into Squidward's face.

Squidward glared at the offending paper then his eyes widened, "You imbecile, this is MY invitation mailed to your house by mistake!"

"You mean I can't go to your reunion after all?" Spongebob's eyes widened and became teary-eyed; his bottom lip trembled in disappointment.

"NO!" Squidward said rather forcefully, snatched his invitation out of the sponge's hand and slammed the door shut in his neighbor's face. Squidward walked over to his chair and heavily sat down, staring at his letter glumly. "Great. Just what I need."

After high school, he had always been looking forward to his reunion. If only so he could show up and shock everyone with how much of a success he had become since that depressing time. He had hated high school and hated all his fellow classmates and they summarily hated him. His one spot of hope had been to outshine them all at their ten-year reunion. But look at him--- he had nothing, was nothing. He worked at Krusty Krab, lived alone, was a failure at all his artistic endeavors, and had no friends. He hated his life with a passion and the people he unfortunately was forced to share it with.

Why should he go back there? See those people he hated, who hated him? He had failed at everything else in his life, what was failing at one more thing, like not showing up at all?

He clenched the paper in his tentacle and it crumbled in his frustration. Why couldn't he win just once? Make jaws drop in awe at his greatness? Who said this one more time had to end up as failure? He knew he still had the potential to really shine if only he was able to catch that one break!