As i stood there, there at the edge of the cliff. All i could think about was how beautiful it was. How peaceful it was. How different it was. I heard the water flowing, so rigorous but yet so thoughtless. Then i laughed to myself. Water doesn't have thought. Let alone feelings. Then i remembered myself. I just described myself. "No, not now" i thought. No more dreadful feelings. Only feelings of happiness. There, standing at the edge of that cliff i felt free. No one could tell me to stop. I was infinite.
I counted down the seconds in my head until i would jump. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...
My heart was pounding. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my body quickly like the water flowing in between the rocks. I slowed down. Five... Four... Three...
Its now or never. Two... I took in one last breath of air as i spoke, "one..." I jumped and this time, i felt my heart pounding even harder. But it wasn't anxiety anymore. It was excitement. I felt the wind hit my face. I slowly stretched out my arms to my sides. I was flying. I was soaring. I was... Free. No more worries.
Who knows what would happen once i hit the water? I didn't. But it didn't matter. Nothing but myself mattered. Once again i counted the seconds until i would hit the water. Five... I extended my arms in front of myself and put my palms together... Four... Three... I felt the rush of energy... Two... One... I hit the water. I felt nothing. Just the cold touch of the water on my body. I wondered "was i dead?" "Was i alive?".
In that short period of time i felt a swift, calm feeling. I flowed through the water slowly and carefully.
I felt myself rising slowly to the surface. My head rose out of the water and i took in a large gasp of air. I thought " i did it. I really did it", and at that very moment, i knew that i could do anything. I realized that i had the biggest grin in my face, and my insides felt like a million swarming butterflies. "I did it". I slowly swam to land, disappointed that it was over. But i felt accomplished. Like i was somehow on top of the world.
As i headed to my belongings i continued to smile. It was a real smile. Something that i had not been able to do for so long. Since that day, nothing was the same. For the better.
*inspired by my best friends*
