An Apology To Mrs. Brown

To Mrs. Brown

First off, I just want to apologize to the Brown Family

Mrs. Brown, I am sorry that you will never see your little boy again

I am sorry that you will never be able to embrace him

I am sorry that you buried your son, rather than him burying you

I am sorry that you will mourn at his funeral, rather than rejoice at his wedding

I am sorry that you will be bringing him to his grave, rather than to his dorm room

I am sorry that my apology means absolutely nothing, because I can not bring him back nor can I give you the justice you all deserve

I am sorry that Blacks have been lied to for almost 150 years

I am sorry that we live in a country that sees our people as a threat rather than humans

I am so sorry, and I mourn with you Brown Family

We live in a country that ignores and makes a mock of our pain

They made a mock of your pain, they had no right to use your son’s name as a propaganda for change, but they did anyway

I don’t know if you wanted it that way or did you just want your son to rest in peace

Did you want his name to be sacred and holy and unspoken?

Does it bother you that some ignorant and oblivious white kid will belt out your babies name and criminal in the same sentence?

Because it bothers me.

And what hurts the most is that in a month or so everything will be back to “normal”

life will go on and we will all forget

But you will never forget about your martyr of a son

His smile will be etched into the crevices of your mind and when you blink it’ll ache because you know that once you open your eyes, he will not be standing right in front of you

With every barefoot step you take the ground will be icy because his warmth has left your presence

And every time your son’s name is cursed or slandered with some blasphemous accusation a part of your soul shall slip away as easily as the vulgar remark creeping off a sinners tongue

I will not pretend to comprehend the pain you are feeling but I want you to know that we are here

We shall unify as best as we know how

And officers black people have a reputation for turning our pain into violence so just get ready

But I beg you please be gentle because we can not handle another death this year

“Justice for ____” has become a popular slogan in the black community

A Black teenager vs. White officer fatality has become an annual event

We are strong people, we can take a lot of hits,  but eventually we shall get a second wind and come back with vengeance

And obviously sense peace isn’t a privilege we are entitled to, we shall stick to what we know best

Our friends “The Peace Keepers” have done the opposite of protecting and serving, instead they are notorious for harming and frightening innocent young Blacks

So please don’t be alarmed if we African Americans begin to remove the “American” from our title because we have finally got the message that America really is not for us

And if America be not for me, then I be not for it