Door 160B

Chapter 4

"Ow don't touch it," I said flinching as my sister Susan inspected the bruise that was beginning to appear on my right cheek.

"I need to," she responded looking into my eyes. "She doesn't have any control anymore, she doesn't know who we are anymore. Please don't blame her." I knew she had said this more for her benefit over mine as I knew the she Susan was referring to. That same woman sat in the other room. My mother sat in the other room.

"I'm fine," I told her hopping off the bathroom counter and walking down the hall and around the corner and then into the kitchen.

"No you're not," she said coming after me.

"Like you know what being fine is, you haven't had a sane moment since dad died," I shouted at her seeing tears in her eyes. "My mother doesn't remember who I am, my brother and father are dead, and you, my sister, are slowly losing your mind because of everything."

"If you really feel that way then just leave! I don't need you!" she practically screamed her face puffy and red and full of tears.

I looked at her waiting for her to take back what she said and wondering when this conversation had escalated so quickly but she never did and I'll never know. 

"If you really feel that way then maybe I will."

I walked out the back door an hour later with my brother's old backpack, and walked through the cold autumn air until I made it to the main part of town where I headed toward the train station.

"Hey Lou!!!" a voice shouted behind me. I turned to see three faces that I knew as well as my own. There walking down the street came Shannon, Eva, and Ella. I hadn't seen them in over two months yet it felt like a lifetime. These girls knew the old me not the new; they didn't know about the abuse my sick mother rout upon me, they didn't know about my dad or brother's deaths, they didn't know my sister was slowly going mad, and they absolutely didn't know why I was heading to the train.

"Hi," I said as they approached me. My voice sounded like I had a sore throat that threw off the octave of my voice. They looked at me strangely yet Ella asked me,"Are you feeling okay, Lou? It sounds like you might be coming down with something."

I could have said I wasn't but I didn't; instead I looked her straight in the eye and said,"It seems I might. I really have to be going..."

"Wait!" Eva shouted to me as I turned back around to face them," do you want to go get something to eat with us?" I looked to where she was pointing down the street at that old diner that stood along the strip that we all used to love. As much as I did want to go, I had no money and the faster I got out of here the faster I would arrive at my destination. Little did Susan know that I had been planning to leave for months now. 

I know I had to the minute my father told me he was leaving to find my brother who had been reported MIA in the rebellion. That day I knew I had to get ready to leave even though he had pulled me aside to tell me to take care of my mother. She back then had been starting treatments for her disease even though I had a feeling that she was beyond saving. I was right.

Looking at Eva and Ella I realized they both hoped I would say yes although Shannon surprisingly was the one with the look that said you can go. I don't know if it was the nervousness of finally having the freedom to leave but I felt as though she knew what I was doing and smart enough to ask me after I declined their invite as to where I was going. I then answered,"Somewhere that's not here."

I felt bad seeing Ella and Eva's confused faces as I turned around heading toward the train that had just pulled in. That was until I came ten feet from the ticket booth about that someone grabbed my arm. Turning I looked right into Shannon's brown eyes that rested in a pale complexion and framed by light dirty blonde hair. "They will never understand what happened on that field Lou like you and I do. We lost family there unlike them," she told me almost pleading with me for something I wasn't a where of. "I don't know where you are going but I know you're leaving, and all I honestly have to say to that is to ask if I could come with you?"

Her eyes pleaded with yet I said without the ability to look in her eyes,"You can't."

******

Present Day

I abruptly sat straight up in bed, my body covered in a thin layer of sweat, and the thought that someone up there had it out for me. Personally I thought it must be my father yet at the same time it could be my brother. Both at the time I had runaway, I knew were dead when I had told Shannon that she couldn't come with me. However, something in me now said that they were probably testing to see if I regretted it now. I didn't but every fact about that day gave me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. 

My aunt Caro, who had helped me get away, had met me at the end of that line and told me I did the right thing. Those words coming from her were all I needed to put me back together again. Now, though, I didn't know if they could. I hadn't seen Caro in months; the last time I saw her she seemed to be in a daze. 

Getting out of bed, I headed to the bathroom and washed my face. Looking up at myself in the mirror above the sink I realized possibly for the first time how thin I had gotten. I used to be plump and somewhat overweight but now I had lost about a hundred pounds from running for my life and my body was badly bruised in so many places you'd think that my skin was turning purple. My malnourished body had some how kept its youth yet never quite could heal me completely. The little I ate my body held onto as it had gone into starvation mode. When I laid down my ribs protruded out and if I bent over and let you run your finger down my spine you could feel the ridges of my discs.

I walked out of my room and into the hall. The air felt damp and cool against my exposed skin as I traveled down the stairs and into the dark kitchen. That's where I saw it and that's where I knew it; there on the fridge's rusty old surface was a note in Will's neatest handwriting.

"They're gone aren't they?" Cyn asked me walking into the kitchen.

"Yep."

"Good now we can go without any opposition from the male gender."

"Ha that's one way of putting," I smiled and continued to look at the note. Will's handwriting reflected what he was on the inside versus what everyone else saw. The pencil marks were dark and if erased were to still be seen even underneath new words. They demanded to be heard unlike our quiet BFG.

"What's that?" Cyn asked coming over to stand next to me. She was munching on her granola as she picked up the envelope I had put on the table. "Hyatt...why are you sending letters to him?"

"That kid Andre we met in Spain gave me this weird feeling in my stomach. It couldn't have been a coincidence that he was transferring to the Brothers, could it?" I asked her turning to look into her chocolate brown eyes.

"No it couldn't and that's why we need to go to Italy," she said determined as she popped another piece of granola into her mouth. "When's Isabelle coming around with the milk?"

"Don't-"

Knock! Knock!

Snatching the letter from Cyn's hand I walked to the door leading into the ally. Unlocking the 3 large deadbolts, I swung the door open to reveal a small 7 year old girl in pigtails and white canvas sneakers. Her blue jeans were washed out around the knees and her black sweatshirt was lined with sheep's wool. The only color visible were the 2 pink hair ribbons tied into a bow around her pigtails.

"Hi B!" her voice was high and loud as a little girl's should be.

"Hey Isabelle, any news for me?" I asked putting out my hand as she placed the cold glass milk bottle in my hand.

"No sorry. Were you expecting any?" she responded as I handed her the empty one from last week. I honestly wasn't expecting any news but you never know. I looked at Isabelle then; she was starting to look like Sarafina more everyday and that worked in her favor. For you see at the time Iz was conceived her mother had been the mistress to the top 3 drug gang lords. Let's just say we don't know who her actually biological father is, so now she lives with her mom here near the edge of the city living off of her 3 "fathers". When I first heard the story I wondered where Sarafina got such a brilliant yet dumb idea. Then I reasoned with myself and decided not to dwell on it for I knew from my own family that Italians were a dramatic bunch. 

"No. Thanks for the milk, though, Iz," I said.

"Okay then. Bye B!" She waved as she skipped away from back down the ally, and as I looked at her small legs skipped away I remembered something Caro had told me once upon a time: women rule the day while men rule the night but women know how to manipulate the night just as the neck does the head.