welcome home

A Life Not Worth Living

alone

friendless

crazy

All things Hannah Marie Kimber either thought or told on many occasions growing up. She grew up learning to keep her mouth shut and play the part her mother wanted her to play: a pretty girl  who did as she was told, never asked question, took care of her siblings at the age of eight, got good grades in school. To anyone looking in today would thing ' gosh that's the perfect kid'. However, she was far from perfect. That mother that was menchend earlier was obsessed with the way Hannah looked and would call her names: fat, you need to stop eating, you're not wearing that you look like a hobo, girls dont play football, keep acting like this and you will never find a husband, go do something with your life already. Hannah has heard it all, every bad word, every insult. Hannah felt lost. She looked to her father for help but he wasn't any differant. She will learn to put up with it to get by. At first she thought it was a normal thing, but in years to come she will see that this wasn't normal and she needed to get out. For the time being lets take a look into the daily life of this poor scared little girl. 

2015

Hannah arose from her bed and turned off her alarm clock that was placed on the other side of the room she shared with her little sister, Haylie. It was six in the morning on a normal Wednesday. She went over to her sisters bed and attempted to wake her up. Haylie then proceeds to yell at  Hannah to go away in which Hannah replies with telling her sister if she doesn't wake up by the time she comes back up from waking their brothers up she will be calling mom. The four children were used to this not so seemingly threatening comment, considering Hannah will go through with it, because the children were terrified of their mother when they didn't listen. Hannah would go down stairs from her room in the attic and into the boy's room. From there she will wake up her brothers by turning the lights on and telling them to get on their feet because she found the best way to get the boys to actually wake up is to get them to move around.

Once the boys were awake and the house was filled with the sounds of the boys arguing Hannah would go back up to her room to see if her sister was awake. Most days she would be awake when Hannah gets back up there but there are those few days shes not. After yelling down the stairs for the boys to shut up for the fifth time she finally gets dressed and then makes the lunches for the day. Hannah and the twins get on the bus leaving Hunter , Hannah's youngest brother who is about three to four at the time, with his aunt.

Part of Hannah's daily routine includes, when she gets off the bus she goes in front of this girl then stands patiently outside for a second waiting for said girl to get off the bus. That girls name is Morgan Schwahn. Morgan was a small girl in size growing up, pretty blonde hair, gorgeous blue eyes, popular, and above most others fake. Morgan would call Hannah her bestfriend when they were alone, but when all the other girls would come around Morgan would act like Hannah never existed. Anyhow Hannah still waited for her everyday when she got off the bus. The two would walk in to the school together, talk amongst the other girls in the grade. Their was very few people in the grade itsself, very little in the school also. Their was about thirty five to forty people in their grade alone. By the time the whole grade arrives it's time for them all to go to their classes. Hannah goes class to class all day, keeps her head down in the hallways, doesn't speak up in class.As school gets out Hannah gets on the bus once again, you could probably ask the girl what her bus route was because it was always the same year after year for eleven years. 

W

hen Hannah gets home with all of her siblings their mother is home by now having gotten off of work at seven that morning and arriving home at eight seeing as she worked an hour away, however because of her working third shift the kids have to be quiet upon arriving at home. Hannah quietly takes her brothers and sister into the kitchen, sits them down at the table for them to do their homework, then makes a snack for them. The twelve year old will then go outside to bring in their dog who was taken out that morning. Her dog was a beautiful black rottweiler lab mix, he had one blue eye in which he could not see out of, his other eye was an amazing chocolate brown. They have had this dog for a few years, he must have been about two at the time. The family had gotten the dog from their aunt. Harley, the dogs name, will continue to be a part of the family for many years to come until he gets put down, but that is a story for a later date. 

This was the year Hannah's mom started applying to police departments and in the middle of the year she will be hired as a police officer in a big city. Hannahs nightly routine in the beginning months was just to eat dinner then go to sleep. Then came the time her mom was in the academy. The next few months were filled with learning to cook, no sleep, yelling, exhaustion, fighting, and much more. Hannah swears up and down she's seen it all. The reason for all of this being one man, her littlest brother's dad. He went to the bar almost every night leaving Hannah at the age of twelve to parent her siblings. 

Hayden, the older twin, was atuistic and needed to be reminded to take his meds and not have anything with the dye red forty due to the dye making his meds wear off. Haylie, the younger twin and Hannah's only sister, was a picky eater and the twelve year old had a hard time getting her to eat at all. Then there was Hunter, the youngest of the four, who was only four at the time and had a handful of major food allergies that had to be worked around. He was allergic to just about every major thing that food had, peanuts, eggs, pork, wheat. Not only did he have food allergies but also dogs, cats, dust, mold, and severe asthma.  Due to all of these Hannah spent countless nights awake next to her brothers door listening to his breathing just to make sure he didn't die or have an allergic reaction to the dog they had in the house, or to the mold from the basement seeing as they lived in an old house, or even to the dust that sits around the house. As you can see Hannah is cautious when it comes to her siblings. She's had to look out for them their entire life. She fed the kids, changed diapers, made bottles, rocked them to sleep, got them up and ready for school, ect. Their mom was never home.

A very vivid memory of hers to this day was the night her brother's dad didn't come home. The man usually got home about one am. But on this night she stayed up for hours waiting, at about four am she fell asleep on the couch. At about seven am her alarm goes off as she forgot to turn it off for the weekend. When she got up to look out the window to see if he was home, his midnight black pickup truck had not returned to the house in the three hours she had been asleep. In a hurried panic she called her mother. The mom said she had not heard from Ron all night and had assumed he was at home sleeping. Hannah's mother told her to make sure the kids were still asleep and not to tell them that Ron wasn't home while she called Hannah's grandmother. A few minutes later Hannah received a message from her mother saying Ron had driven god awfully drunk and hit a tree and that their grandmother was on her way and would arrive in an hour. 

The next few months went by quickly, Ron was kicked out, Hannah discovered her love for horror movies, hunter was no longer allergic to wheat, and finally in february of 2016 hannah had turned thirteen. Then a month later on March first they moved out of streator.