My Guardian Angel (Angel!Link x Religious!Reader Oneshots) PART 2

Escape To Reality

Your POV

I have escapism. I have struggled many encounters, emotionally and mentally. I don't know what to do despite the fact that everyone thinks I have some kind of trauma or a disorder. I get so timid, nervous, scared, phobic....because I couldn't do anything. I just can't do it.

I can't take it anymore. I can't control this overwhelmed emotion inside my head. Whenever I go outside in public, I always keep on daydreaming over and over. I just couldn't stop it. It kept on spinning around in my brain like a vortex or a portal to lure my lone soul into another dimension.

What's going on with my life today? What really is wrong with me? Have I done something wrong? What have I got to lose? None of the above....I am worse than nothing. I stayed at home safe and sound so that I won't be able to go outdoors. All the pain I have ever felt in my life is too much.

I am so afraid and frightened like a scaredy cat. I curled into a ball as I wrapped my arms around my legs apart close to my chest, huddle in the corner of the walls like in a cage as if where my heart is locked up and I can't get out of this wretched prison.

There's nobody here who could help me. No one need some assistance or want to accompany. All I think these imaginary things....an escape pathway from my troubles where I entered in a mysterious portal that leads to a happy peaceful land; that's much safer.

In reality, people judge me for no reason like I was being tortured by sharp blades, leaving me all alone in the abyss. I don't know how to stop the pain. The flashbacks of my past and unforgettable memories are haunting me while I try to get some sleep. I see nothing but the terrifying darkness.

I have a lack of focus at school. I don't want to grow up. I'm not yet ready to settle this and face the world by my own. I'm not actually sure what's in store for me. I have zero skills. I failed and failed over and over, repeating itself like I am done with that kind of life. Why should I just kill myself?...

It keeps on disrupting my inner peace and distract my silent quietness while I relax on my dreamscape, instead of sleeping. Sure, I have these vivid and wild imaginations rather than a crazy psychologic hallucination or images; like I'm having schizophrenia.

The harder I try to go out, the more I get nervous, shaking like a leaf and my heart started to pump faster and faster by the minute all of a sudden like I'm about to faint and collapse on the floor because I can't get ahold my tension. This is why I never want to go outside. Never ever again.

I just wished I could find a special place to escape....somewhere out there. I'll find a way on my own....someday. All alone in the world that I want to fade away, disappear from this horrid reality like my whole body dissolved to dust. Waking up as a trapped lonely soul as I wander off to the imaginary dimension, the gateway that would change my life.

But it's impossible. I sighed in complete desperation. I laid down on my bed as I put on headphones and listen to emotional music or nostalgic Nintendo music. I rested my head on the pillows, my heart started to churn up painfully with butterflies. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I huddle under the covers.

Music is my soulful medicine to heal the excruciating scars and wounds all over my temples and can let me escape to reality. That is my weakness. I began to sob hard this time, holding my heart in my both hands against my chest.

After a minute of crying, I glanced at the window one last time with a sad teary-eyed expression. What if I would say goodbye to the world for now? My parents are gone and I am glad how I survived by an accident. I'll never forget them but all of my memories are doing well or I suffered from all the anger and hate that I don't like.