The music is too loud. My shoes keep sticking to the floor because of all the puddles of alcohol and the lighting is dim; I hate it here. The guy sat in front of me is talking about something he's passionate about, I can tell from the way he's waving his arms around and how his face is lit up. He's cute, not entirely my type, but he's cute enough to have sex with that's for sure.
"You wanna get out of here?" I ask and he doesn't seem too bothered that I interrupted this one-sided conversation.
I will admit that I've always been a bit of a slut? a whore? I don't know what to call myself as a guy, but you get the idea.
"So, what did you think of the bar?" He questions me as he reaches for my hand, but I pull away.
"It was lovely."
Luckily my place isn't too far from here and only takes about ten minutes to walk to it. However, the awkward silences between us make me wish we had taken an Uber instead. I try not to look at him as we walk because when I do, I start noticing all the things I dislike about his appearance. Why is he wearing that stupid bandana?
"Is this your home?"
"Yeah."
"It's pretty small for a house."
"Well I like tiny things."
"I guess you won't like my penis then." He points down to his crotch.
I let out a fake laugh to be polite. "I guess I can make an exception for you."
I open the front door and hear him gasp behind me, so I turn around. "What's wrong?"
"Why do you have so much strange stuff? Like what the hell is this?" He points at a collection of rocks in various sizes on top of a cushion on the floor.
Rather than answering him, I push him up against the nearest wall and kiss him. I never feel anything when I kiss these guys, perhaps maybe arousal, but that's it. He places his hands on my waist and pulls me closer to him.
"Let's go to the bedroom." I whisper in his ear. I just need to get this over and done with.
I push him onto the mattress and he smiles up at me and says "Someone's eager." I wish he would just stop talking; I hate the sound of his voice.
As I crawl along the bed to get to him, he flips us over so he's now on top of me. He begins to undo the buttons of my shirt and leaves kisses on my body as he moves down. The removal of clothes is always the part of sex I hate the most, so now I've learnt to close my eyes and think positive thoughts while it happens. It's important to let the other guy do all the work.
I accidentally open my eyes out of shock due to him unexpectedly taking my dick into his mouth. I try to focus on something else other than my naked self and that's when I see it, on the shelf next to the bed. I wish I hadn't looked at that.
"Hey uh...why aren't you hard yet? Am I doing something wrong?"
"You need to leave."
"What?"
I repeat the words, but louder this time. "You need to leave!"
He backs away, thankfully still fully clothed and heads for the exit. "You're fucking weird, man. I'm never speaking to you again." He shouts at me and then all I hear is the slamming of the door.
I get up from under a blanket I had quickly thrown over myself and go to pick up the toy unicorn. "I keep forgetting to put you somewhere else." I say as if it can understand me.
I get back into my bed with the unicorn clutched close to my chest and I try to stop the tears from forming in my eyes, but then I remember that my mom told me it's unhealthy to do that, so I allow it to happen and let the tears fall. I wouldn't be able to give you an exact number for the amount of times this scenario has occurred before, and it's always the damn unicorn, but it means too much to me to get rid of it, even if it's ruining my dating life.
It's funny really, how Andrew is the one person in the world who would never hurt me, but the saddest part is that he does hurt me, he hurts me every day without realizing it. Any man that enters my life I end up comparing to him.
So, don't ever fall in love with a friend because it hurts like hell.
