Unfair Teachers

HOW TO WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH AN UNFAIR TEACHER?

Time and Place

The first key to winning is picking the right time and place to argue. The worst time to argue is while the teacher is trying to teach the class. The teacher has a lesson plan he wants to get through before the period ends, and telling you "no" takes less time than listening to you.

More importantly, in the classroom there is an audience of students. The teacher thinks, If I give this student what she wants, all these students will think I'm a pushover. For the rest of the year, every time any student wants anything, whether they have a good reason or not, they'll argue and waste so much time I'll never get anything done. If you confront a teacher while the class is watching, the teacher may decide that resolving your problem is less important than making an example out of you.

(This is a principle baseball players understand well. When a pitch is questionable, the batter may try to tell the umpire the pitch was a ball, not a strike. But a smart batter never turns to face the umpire. Why? Because if he does, the crowd will know he told the umpire to call it a ball; and if the umpire then does so, everyone who disagrees with that call will think poorly of the umpire. The smart batter always looks straight ahead at the pitcher while quietly saying, "Outside pitch," or whatever. That way the umpire can make that same call without looking like he caved in.)

To win, argue with the teacher privately. If you can pull him aside while the other students are busy, that is better than calling him out in front of the class. But the best move is to talk to the teacher outside of class. Catch him during lunch break, after school, or before first period.

Can't catch him at those times? Make an appointment. At the end of class, ask him if he will talk to you during lunch. Any good teacher (and even a lot of mediocre ones) will make time to talk to a student.

Talking to the teacher alone can feel awkward, but it greatly increases the teacher's willingness to listen to you and take your complaints seriously. As a teacher, I have learned students sometimes argue because they have legitimate grievances, but more often a student will argue in class simply because she is stuck in the classroom and thinks arguing is more fun than doing school work. Students argue over nothing just to kill time. When a student comes to me on her own time, however, talking to me when she could be laughing with friends or surfing the web, then I know she must be serious. That does not guarantee I will agree with her, but it guarantees I will listen. Any good teacher will.

Approach

Another key to winning is to approach the teacher respectfully. That does not mean kissing up. It does mean being polite, and it means giving the teacher the benefit of the doubt. Don't accuse the teacher of being out to get you if it is possible he just made an honest mistake. Don't accuse him of making a mistake if it is possible he just saw things differently than you. Teachers are like anyone else: when you accuse them, they may get so busy defending themselves that they forget to think about the situation from your point of view and to see whether you are being treated fairly.

To win, you do not want the teacher defending himself - you want him listening and understanding your problems. This is why it is better to use "I" statements than "you" statements. Do not say, "Why did you grade me unfairly?" (an accusation), but rather say, "I don't understand why I got this grade. I felt the work deserved better." Do not say, "You always give me detention. You never punish anyone else who does the same thing." Instead say, "I feel it is unfair to get detention when I see other people do the same thing and get away with it."

When you start a sentence with "you," the other person will come back with "You're wrong. I am not like that at all." But when you start with "I," you are talking about yourself, and on that subject, you are the hands-down expert; the other person would look silly calling you wrong.