It's clear who the better choice would be. The one who is stable, who wouldn't leave. The one who you know would be there and would care for you no matter what. But...............
But you still have those dreams. those ones where he doesn't listen, no matter how many times you yell STOP. The ones where you can't control what's happening. The ones that make you so scared that you wake up with tears streaking down your face and leaving marks on your pillow. And no matter what, when you see him the next day, you act as if it didn't happen. he doesn't know that you dreamt that. no one does. Except you. You thought that you were over this a while ago. but some how, it's still there. you are still worried. You don't like to be alone with him. Just you two alone in a locked room scares the hell out of you. you can't handle it. You desperately wish that you didn't feel this way. You want so badly for you two to be together, in a nice cute relationship with out any worries. He wants it. you want it. But you know you have those dreams. You know that him even hugging you tightly causes you to be worried. Oh, why do you feel this way?Why can't you just be comfortable? But you know that you can't just ignore it. You know that it is set in your brain. So you make the only choice that you can, and say you don't like him. say that you wouldn't feel that way about him in a million years. You just let life continue and pretend that you love being friends, which you do, at least on the phone you do. But being actually face to face with him makes you uncomfortable and scared. You don't want to be scared anymore but you are. You really are. And you just want it to stop.
