JOURNEY || JinKook ☑️

EIGHTEEN - FRIENDLY DATE

Seokjin

"Hey! I'm sorry. I'm late." I sprint towards the table in the middle of a very fine dine-in restaurant. I couldn't say that I've never been in this kind of classy restaurant. I've been into many dine-outs before. But I can say this is the first time, again, after two years of staying single.

"It's okay. I just arrived." Namjoon said as he gives me a bouquet of red roses. "How's your day?"

His dimples show every time he smiles and he looks cute. "Good. I tutored your boss's son."

He looks surprised. "For real? He went home early today because he said you're not coming."

I smiled weakly. To be honest, when I heard from Yoongi about what happened to Soobin's father, my heart just can't take not to at least help the child in his studies. A child should not ever feel neglected. They should feel loved and important.

If I will decline the offer when Soobin is already expecting me to be there with him, he will feel unimportant again. Perhaps, Jungkook already gave him a lot of broken promises. The reason why he's acting like that. And I don't want him to feel the same way through me. Sometimes, broken promises can lead to trust issues and emotional instability. Something I don't want any child to feel.

Because giving attention, love and care is something that I cannot show to my own anymore.

"Are you okay?" Namjoon asked. Maybe he noticed the change in my mood.

I tried to smile widely. I don't want to show him that I lost my interest. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I just thought about Soobin."

"Yeah, that boy. He's very sweet. I know he's suffering. He is too young to endure all of that." From the way Namjoon speaks, it seems that Soobin is also close to him.

"Looks like you're close to him?"

We were interrupted when the server arrived to take our orders. After the server left, Namjoon looks back at me. He has those charming eyes that will make you sigh the moment it landed on you.

"After his appa's funeral, we were the ones in charge of taking care of Soobin. Ken, Jungkook's ex, Ken's father cannot commit fully since he has work in Busan and he has high blood pressure. So basically, it's Taehyung's mom, Jimin, and Tae.

I always visit them since Jungkook was emotionally unstable at that time. Actually, until now."

"You mean, he's still grieving up until now?" Yoongi already mentioned that Jungkook remained single after his boyfriend's death. But I was expecting that he at least had dated after that? Or at least tried?

Namjoon's face suddenly went gloomy. "He tried to date but he's still coming back to Ken. Maybe he's still afraid. He keeps on telling me that he's afraid to lose his memories of Ken."

That is the saddest part. I thought about that too. I have that thoughts that if I stopped grieving for my son, I will lose his memories too. Those memories that he left and I only have from him.

Somehow, I understand Jungkook. But seven years is too long. I lost my son two years ago. I've been in those stages of grief too. I am still grieving until now but after a year or so of grieving so hard, I decided not to let grief consumed me. I know there's more outside grief. I'm still alive and life goes on. I may be happy now but I made sure that my son still occupies a big part of my mind and heart.

I noticed Namjoon staring at my engagement ring. This is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life.

"Are you engaged?" His forehead creased out of curiosity.

I hesitate to answer at first. This is something that I still cannot talk openly.

"Well, no." I laughed nervously. "But I used to be. The guy left me at the altar on our wedding day."

I looked at Namjoon to check his reaction and his eyes are all wide and his mouth just fell open. "No way!"

I chuckled at his reaction. "Unbelievable?"

"He was an asshole for doing that! I mean, I can tell that you're so nice to be with and you are so damn handsome, I mean, why? He's regretting it now for sure." He waited for my confirmation. I don't know why my mood suddenly feel a little downhearted.

"I'm not sure." I felt some sort of pinch in my heart. Like what I've said before, this is something that I cannot talk about openly. But aside from Jimin, I always think that I will lessen the burden by sharing my pains with others but I guess tonight isn't the right time. "Let me just say that this ring is a reminder of how men can be an asshole. I just cannot throw it because it still has that sentimental value in it."

Based on Namjoon's expression, I know he doesn't agree with me. Perhaps, he's thinking of how stupid I am for keeping something that reminds me of pain. But the understanding is still there because his friend is still going through the same pain.

"Why don't we stop talking about the past and sad memories? But first, answer my question, how did you know my number?" Namjoon called me this afternoon if he can invite me for dinner. Our original schedule is 8 pm but he said an emergency meeting came up so we adjusted the time at 9 giving me time to go home and freshen up.

"Jane. Jungkook's secretary. You called the office when no one fetch Soobin remember? Our office phone has caller ID and she wrote yours. When Jungkook told me that Soobin's teacher and the guy he hit are the same person, I get your number right away and I'm glad you accepted my invite." One thing I noticed about Namjoon is his ability to get your attention while he talks. He speaks very well.

"I don't really have a lot of friends here so I'm starting to make new ones. You know that I only know Jimin since I spent most of my life in London." As my first impression at Namjoon, he is easy to talk with. Like he can be your best adviser. "So why did you invite me to dinner?"

He looks shy. He purses his lips and gives me a tight smile. "I just want to know you more. I mean like over dinner."

He looks nervous and funny at the same time. "Well yeah. I hope we can be friends?" I extended my hand and he smiles before taking it.