Joy is one of the most frequent emotions we feel in our day to day lives. As young children, we smiled at the smallest of things. It could be from feeling the small grains of sand slip in between our toes for the first time or seeing our first sunrise peek just over the horizon. Hell, I spent most of my life smiling up at the stars, believing that each time one of those balls made of hydrogen and helium disappeared and reappeared a second later, that it was someone winking down at me. Telling my tiny 8-year-old mind that there was someone always watching from above, to be my shoulder to cry on or hand to hold. Something I never had the privilege of having as a child.
As I got a bit older, I started to believe what my peers told me. That the reason why I never had parents or relatives was that I wasn't worthy of affection and love. That this person I had become was worthless and broken beyond belief. My mind was in a place that left me vulnerable, weak to everything they spat at me. And while I would love to tell you that I fought tooth and nail against those words, I'd be telling a terrible lie. Every insult pierced through my heart... my lungs, Leaving me breathless and my heart stuttering. The worst thing was that for years I would look up at those beautiful stars and beg for a second chance. Beg to be forgiven for what I had done to deserve this life.
As one would expect, a reply never came.
Jumping from family to family was hard. Each time they gave me up or passed me to someone else it felt like a blow to whatever self-esteem I had left. But I didn't allow this to stop me from getting the best grades I could. I needed to create a future for myself to prove that they missed the chance to meet an amazing person. But first...I needed to accept you...me...Us... We are one after all. The same being. We share the same bleeding heart and raging emotions. When I look in the mirror, I see you. So, let's take that first step together, Okay?
YOU ARE READING
Galaxies away
Fanfiction"I'm not going to try and impress you because that would mean that I don't see myself as someone worthy of your attention. I don't need your approval or affections. All it would do is waste my time and yours.." "but mainly mine."
