The words hit me like a wreaking ball. Boarding school... My parents want me to go because they say im not normal yet they are the ones who made me like this. It all started in 2007 when my grandpa died. I loved him to death and I trusted him more than anyone in the world. When he died I cussed god out and told him I was leaving him just like he made my grandpa leave me. I turned athiest for about 5 years. Then after that I started getting really depressed and I cried alot. Still do matter of fact. Thats when the kids started calling me emo and gay and stuff. The words killed me. I was 10 when I started cutting. At the same time we moved from michigan to texas where I live now. I'm now 13. I'm in recovery of drug over dose, cutting and many other things. I kept a promise with my girlfriend that I wouldn't get high anymore. She said if I did then she will break up with me.... The school I'm at. I hate it. Its all about god and being good. Just like the rest of my life I'm an outcast here. I listen to the wrong bands, wear the wrong clothes and have a wrong train of thought. I try to be the best I can but its never enough. I get yelled at everyday and get bullied at school. Its not fun but its life....
I write poetry to help escape from life. It helps but only for a short time. I draw and write music to take my pain away but it always comes back for more. I have attempted suicide more than once and failed everytime. I tried sports to help with everything. Doesn't work. The whole football team hates me. So I'm left with my thoughts, feelings and art work.
This is me. The me no one knows.
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