Illusions [Ateez x Reader]

Chapter 3

  

     - Flashback- 4 years ago

      "I know this is hard to do, but this is the best choice," my school counselor states, sadly.

    I nod, unable to form sentences right now. In about ten minutes, my life is going to change forever.

    I turn my head from the seat I sat in to the door as the boys I knew and used to love walked in. They all had smiles on their faces, but it dropped slightly when they saw me.

    "Hello boys," I give them a small, tired wave.

    I know I look bad. Deep circles under my eyes, a slouch, and my skin looks pale as ever. Not to mention, I look like I haven't eaten in days.

    "Um, hey Y/N," Wooyoung greets, confused.

   None of the boys look happy to see me, which is something I'm used to at this point. I shouldn't be used to it, but I am.

   Jongho looks at me uncertainly. "Are you okay?"

    I scoffed at the question, making them look at me even more confused and a little bit offended. Hongjoong speaks up. "What?"

   "What?" I mockingly ask. "You haven't asked me if I was okay since I met you, and now you suddenly do?"

    The counselor coughs, making all of our attention turn to him. "I suppose you would like to know why you boys are here, right?"

    They all nod there heads.

   "Okay then, Y/N? Would you like to tell them?"

   I turn to him, nodding with a sad expression, which hardens when I turn to look at the boys again and stand up. "I have to reject you."

    "WHAT?!" The boys shout at once. I wince and shrink in on myself because of their stares.

     Seonghwa notices this. "Sorry we yelled, but why did you even think to reject us? We are your soulmates!"

     I laugh, but I feel like screaming. "Soulmates?! My soulmates?! You really have the audacity to call yourselves that?! That's rich."

     "What the hell do you mean?" Yeosang angerly argues.

   I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize fucking other people was a normal practice for soulmates."

    That effectively shut the boys up.

    I smirk. "Yeah, that's right. We've only know that we are soulmates for five weeks, and you wanna know something. All of you have cheated on me fourteen times in five weeks! Fourteen times!"

    The boys shrink under my gaze.

    "I thought I had finally found people that would care about me, love me, because that's what soulmates are supposed to do. But I guess I was wrong."

    Yunho opens his mouth to speak, but I raise my hand, effectively shutting him up.

    My eyes started to tear up. "And do you want to know what happened every time you cheated? I felt more pain than I could ever imagine. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. It felt like I was being ripped apart! Like my heart was shattering!"

     The boys froze, tears beginning to shine in each of their eyes.

    My body started to shake. "Every time it happened, I wanted to scream! I wanted to burst into tears, I wanted to get all drunk and kill myself, just to rid myself of the pain! But all I could do was stare at a wall as you ripped my heart apart. And I guess, I could never really see how toxic people are until I breath fresher air. And that is what I need, fresh air."

    Tears were falling from my eyes as I stared straight at each of the boys, my temper slowly calming until I feel almost nothing as I looked at them.

     "You never once showed me any affection. Not once."

     "Hear us out," Mingi stepped forward, speaking softly. "Please."

      "Why should I fucking listen to you?!"

    Mingi steps back with the other boys, so I started my rant again. "You all met your soulmates, but I guess I didn't."

     San looks at me and mumbles, "We're sorry."

    I shake my head, my calm demeanor returning. "You broke my heart and all you can say is sorry? Really? Do you really think one sorry can fix everything you all broke?"

    "I'm done." I state, as strongly as I can. "I'm done hurting. I'm done dying. I'm done trying to be someone better when you don't care about me at all."

     "Wait, stop," Hongjoong starts. "We can change, we promise."

    "I can't take that chance anymore. I have let enough people already break my trust. I just can't love you."

    I turn to the counselor. "I'm ready."

    He looks heartbroken watching this, but nods his head. "Go ahead."

    I turn back to the boys and let out a sob, then I straighten up. "I hope you boys finally  know at least slightly how I felt every single goddamn time you cheated."

    I take a deep breath, the boys are practically shaking from the tears dripping from their eyes.

     "I reject you: Park Seonghwa, Kim Hongjoong, Jeong Yunho, Kang Yeosang, Choi San, Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung, and Choi Jongho."

     I look at the mark on my wrist, a rose with eight petals. I watch as the rose fades from a strong black to a misty grey. It looks like a light pencil mark now. I look up at the boys to see them staring at one of the petals on their rose on each of their wrists fade. I could see the emptiness from their hearts take over their faces, tears running freely down all of their cheeks.

I don't feel a thing though. I simply wipe my tears off of my face.

     I start to walk past them to the door, before stopping and turning towards them again. "You can't really blame me, can you? You can only blame yourself. I hope you boys finally understand at least the slightest bit of my pain. And it's going to be there until you die. Now, I am leaving. Please don't ever talk to me again."

    With that, I walked out of the door. I transferred to a new school after that and spent the next four years building a youtube channel and building my career. I never thought I would have to see them again. But I guess we can't always get what we want.